OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #202 Those Skywalkers Have Always Been Trouble
A leopard can’t change his spots.
An old dog can’t learn new tricks.
These two little expressions both mean the same thing. It is hard, and perhaps impossible, for a person to change the way he does things. We don’t want to say it, so we create expressions to say it for us.
He will never change.
I heard a comedian on the radio a few weeks ago making jokes about my homeland, PEI. He was an Islander, so it was OK. He joked that if Star Wars had happened there, it would not have taken three episodes and six hours to figure out Darth Vader was Luke’s father. “Oh - Skywalker, huh? Aren’t there Skywalkers down there in Naboo? . . . I think he’s Vader’s son. Those Skywalkers - always were hot tempered, you know!”
Small communities are not the only places where it is hard to escape a reputation. I used to think it was a small town thing, but I have realized it is a relationship thing which happens regardless of the size of the place. We tend to mark people by the stupid things they have done in the past. It doesn’t seem to matter that time has gone by and real change has taken place. We remember the stupid things and it makes it hard for us to get past them.
Now, I’m not saying we should be naive about these things. Sometimes Christians are accused of being too trusting, or of being duped by people who might talk us into believing they have changed. Rather, I’m talking about real change, but in the back of our minds we still think it is only a matter of time before they do those stupid things again.
In Acts 15:36-41, Paul and Barnabas argued over whether they should take a young man named John Mark on their proposed missionary journey. Always the encourager, Barnabas wanted to take his cousin with them, but Paul felt they could not trust him to complete the trip because he had deserted them before. They had such a strong disagreement that Paul and Barnabas parted company over the matter. Paul took Silas and went one way, and Barnabas left in another direction with John Mark.
We read about the troubled time in Acts 13:13, where it doesn’t sound so bad. John Mark returned to Jerusalem while the others travelled on. Whatever happened, Paul thought the young man should not travel with them. Once trouble, always trouble.
This is not the end of the story, however. About twelve or thirteen years later (60AD), Paul sent greetings from Mark to the Colossian believers (Colossians 4:10). At about the same time, he also wrote to Philemon from prison and again passed along Mark’s greetings (Philemon 23-24). Both times he suggested that Mark may also have been a prisoner with him. A few years after that (63-64AD), Paul was still a prisoner and wrote to Timothy, asking that Mark be sent to him because he was so helpful (2 Timothy 4:11).
Whatever happened in the intervening years, Paul no longer held the young man’s actions against him and came to love and trust him, finding him helpful and encouraging.
Maybe, just maybe... we sometimes fuel conflict because we don’t let go of someone’s reputation. Paul is an example for us in letting go of the past. Again, I don’t want us to be naive. But at the same time, maybe we can recognize real change and repentance.
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Oct 15, 2009. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
OnFire is an occasional letter on Christian faith and character
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
OnFire #201 Who Cut My Hose?
OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #201 Who Cut the Hose?
Hi Folks:
I don’t have a lot of news this week other than Ian is now taking his gun and hunter safety courses. He is really excited about this. A man from our church is letting me use his camp and this will be our base, so this is very neat, also. I’m always amazed at people’s generosity, and grateful.
We're getting ready for a parenting course at our church in Moncton next week. The Family Life Legacy course is for everyone interested in parenting and will happen on Oct 17 from 9-4. We'll learn things like how to avoid the most common mistakes parents make, how our roles change as the children grow, and how to instill confidence and character in our children. Cost is $15/person or $25/couple and includes a workbook. Please email me if you want to pre-register or want more information.
Hope your week is going well,
Troy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was a student, I worked for three summers in Cavendish, PEI. I had a job at a commercial campground in the resort area and lived in an old tent trailer in the staff compound. It was a fun place to work and live, but it was not without its tensions as twenty or so different people of varying maturity tried to live and get along.
I came back to the trailer one day to find my water hose cut off. My hatchet was stuck in the ground beside it, and half was missing. It was no big deal, just a cheap hose from the hardware store, but that day I saw red. One of the maintenance staff was working on the water system nearby and I jumped to conclusions. He had obviously cut my hose and stolen it. I stomped over to where he was working, and he had the missing half.
“Why did you cut my hose?” I demanded.
“What do you mean, cut your hose?” He was not one to back down easily.
“My hose,...” I pointed to the piece on the ground beside him.” “Why did you cut it off?”
“This hose was here when I came up to work. If I had wanted your hose, I would have asked you.” And then he quoted something I had heard him say many times. “Don’t ever steal anything from me. Ask me, and I’ll probably give it to you.”
With that, he handed me my hose and the argument was over. I knew he would have asked to borrow it if he needed, and certainly would not have cut it. I never did find out who did, and truthfully, I was too embarrassed by my behaviour to look any further. I still have the hose in my shed and have thought about that experience many times since.
In this series on conflict, I turned to Proverbs to see what this book of wisdom has to say. It is a favourite of mine and I found all sorts of gems, including this one which took me back to the day of the hose.
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.* Proverbs 26:20-21
I was kindling strife that day. Listening to the gossip of my own mind, I accused him without thinking. And because he was there, I charged in to call him to account, but I was wrong. “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (Proverbs 29:11)
Just as I have kindled strife, I have likewise been scorched by others. “Where did that come from?” is usually my first thought. Sometimes I can make sense of it, and sometimes I cannot, but I know this: It is no fun to be torched and scorched.
Another proverb comes to mind: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) It is hard not to react defensively when the sparks fly, but I have often also found that when I answer kindly the situation more quickly diffuses. There is a lot to learn from these and other proverbs for handling conflict.
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Oct 8, 2009. *Scripture taken from the New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
OnFire #201 Who Cut the Hose?
Hi Folks:
I don’t have a lot of news this week other than Ian is now taking his gun and hunter safety courses. He is really excited about this. A man from our church is letting me use his camp and this will be our base, so this is very neat, also. I’m always amazed at people’s generosity, and grateful.
We're getting ready for a parenting course at our church in Moncton next week. The Family Life Legacy course is for everyone interested in parenting and will happen on Oct 17 from 9-4. We'll learn things like how to avoid the most common mistakes parents make, how our roles change as the children grow, and how to instill confidence and character in our children. Cost is $15/person or $25/couple and includes a workbook. Please email me if you want to pre-register or want more information.
Hope your week is going well,
Troy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was a student, I worked for three summers in Cavendish, PEI. I had a job at a commercial campground in the resort area and lived in an old tent trailer in the staff compound. It was a fun place to work and live, but it was not without its tensions as twenty or so different people of varying maturity tried to live and get along.
I came back to the trailer one day to find my water hose cut off. My hatchet was stuck in the ground beside it, and half was missing. It was no big deal, just a cheap hose from the hardware store, but that day I saw red. One of the maintenance staff was working on the water system nearby and I jumped to conclusions. He had obviously cut my hose and stolen it. I stomped over to where he was working, and he had the missing half.
“Why did you cut my hose?” I demanded.
“What do you mean, cut your hose?” He was not one to back down easily.
“My hose,...” I pointed to the piece on the ground beside him.” “Why did you cut it off?”
“This hose was here when I came up to work. If I had wanted your hose, I would have asked you.” And then he quoted something I had heard him say many times. “Don’t ever steal anything from me. Ask me, and I’ll probably give it to you.”
With that, he handed me my hose and the argument was over. I knew he would have asked to borrow it if he needed, and certainly would not have cut it. I never did find out who did, and truthfully, I was too embarrassed by my behaviour to look any further. I still have the hose in my shed and have thought about that experience many times since.
In this series on conflict, I turned to Proverbs to see what this book of wisdom has to say. It is a favourite of mine and I found all sorts of gems, including this one which took me back to the day of the hose.
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.* Proverbs 26:20-21
I was kindling strife that day. Listening to the gossip of my own mind, I accused him without thinking. And because he was there, I charged in to call him to account, but I was wrong. “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (Proverbs 29:11)
Just as I have kindled strife, I have likewise been scorched by others. “Where did that come from?” is usually my first thought. Sometimes I can make sense of it, and sometimes I cannot, but I know this: It is no fun to be torched and scorched.
Another proverb comes to mind: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) It is hard not to react defensively when the sparks fly, but I have often also found that when I answer kindly the situation more quickly diffuses. There is a lot to learn from these and other proverbs for handling conflict.
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Oct 8, 2009. *Scripture taken from the New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
Thursday, October 1, 2009
OnFire #200 The Irony of Internal Conflict
OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #200 The Irony of Internal Conflict
Hi Folks:
I spent a few days this week on a retreat with other youth and associate pastors in St. Andrews NB. I surprised Jan by sending her a card. I knew I would arrive home before it did, but Jan’s only mail is usually bills, and we all know bills are not real mail. She liked that. I’m not usually that romantic, but once in a while a good thought hits me.
Our Japanese student, Taka, turned 17 yesterday. We celebrated with pizza and cheese cake (his request) and some friends dropped in. He seemed very pleased, especially with the Jackie Chan movie set we gave him. He was especially pleased to receive a package from home.
This is OnFire #200. Its hard to believe that I have written 200 letters. Thanks for being kind and sending comments and thoughts. A lot of the time I write them and forget about them, moving on to the other things I do. So it is always a surprise, and truly humbling, to find out how God uses them. God is cool - He allows me to be part of something bigger He is doing in your lives.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday I spent about two hours sweeping back and forth over my lawn with a specially designed powerful magnet on wheels. We did our roof almost two weeks ago, but I just got around to picking up the nails. I was amazed at how many there were, especially close to the house. We picked up a lot on the day we reshingled, but there were more lurking in the grass waiting to puncture a tire or pierce a foot. How ironic it would be to have a safe day climbing ladders and walking on the roof, only to face blood poisoning from a dirty old nail on the ground.
This is the kind of irony we see as we turn to Acts 6:1-7. The church was surviving external persecution only to find itself threatened by internal conflict. In Acts 4 and 5, the apostles were arrested and beaten for preaching about Jesus. This did not stop them, however, and they even rejoiced that they were worthy to suffer in the same way as Jesus.
So it was strange that conflict threatened them in the opening verses of chapter 6. As the church grew, a ministry of feeding widows developed. One way or another, some were overlooked, creating offense and tension. As the problem unfolded, it developed racial overtones as the Greek Jews complained against the Hebrew Jews. It is not hard to imagine how much damage could have been done to the early church if this problem got of out of hand.
Thankfully the story has a happy ending. The apostles needed to keep on teaching and praying because they were they only eyewitnesses to the resurrection of Jesus. They therefore proposed to appoint seven men who were "full of the Spirit and wisdom" to oversee the ministry. This proposal, Luke tells us, pleased the group. The crisis was averted and the church continued to add great numbers to the fold daily.
The solution they came up with gives us some principles for handling conflict. First of all, we see how holiness and integrity created an atmosphere of trust. There was no doubt about the character of the seven men, and this quickly reduced the tension and suspicion. We need to be people of honesty and integrity. If people know they can trust us absolutely, we will experience less conflict.
They were full of the Holy Spirit. Last Sunday I preached on this passage and used a glass of water to illustrate what this means. While it appeared empty, it was actually full of air. A vacuum might remove the air, but to get every molecule would probably implode the sides. Instead, we could displace the air by pouring water in.
Its the same with us. As we allow God to fill us by the Holy Spirit, the bad parts of our character, like selfishness and ungodly character and behaviour, are displaced. As we allow God to fill us, we will experience less conflict. True, we can’t control what other people do or say to fuel problems, but we can do something about our own character so that, at least, we do not do anything to make it worse.
They were full of wisdom. In the Bible, to be wise is to prove it with our actions. Too often, we want to be people who know for the sake of knowing. We love to study the Bible and we love to give advice. Bible knowledge is good, but only if we actually apply the lessons we learn. It is easier to preach and teach than it is to live it out. But biblical wisdom, true wisdom, is about living out what we know.
The lesson here ought to be obvious. We see the results of people who were filled with the Spirit and lived godly lives. They had the respect of the people and the ability to administer the food distribution wisely. These traits headed off the conflict and the church, it says, increased rapidly.
The lawn magnet I rented had a handle on top. When I pulled the handle, all the stuff stuck on the bottom dropped off. I didn’t discover this handy feature until it was too late. I could have saved myself some work. We can be a magnet for problems, attracting conflict because of the way we handle ourselves, or we can let the Holy Spirit do a work in our character so that conflict does not have to stick to us.
I hope this helps. Be On Fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Oct 1, 2009. *Scripture taken from the New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
OnFire #200 The Irony of Internal Conflict
Hi Folks:
I spent a few days this week on a retreat with other youth and associate pastors in St. Andrews NB. I surprised Jan by sending her a card. I knew I would arrive home before it did, but Jan’s only mail is usually bills, and we all know bills are not real mail. She liked that. I’m not usually that romantic, but once in a while a good thought hits me.
Our Japanese student, Taka, turned 17 yesterday. We celebrated with pizza and cheese cake (his request) and some friends dropped in. He seemed very pleased, especially with the Jackie Chan movie set we gave him. He was especially pleased to receive a package from home.
This is OnFire #200. Its hard to believe that I have written 200 letters. Thanks for being kind and sending comments and thoughts. A lot of the time I write them and forget about them, moving on to the other things I do. So it is always a surprise, and truly humbling, to find out how God uses them. God is cool - He allows me to be part of something bigger He is doing in your lives.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday I spent about two hours sweeping back and forth over my lawn with a specially designed powerful magnet on wheels. We did our roof almost two weeks ago, but I just got around to picking up the nails. I was amazed at how many there were, especially close to the house. We picked up a lot on the day we reshingled, but there were more lurking in the grass waiting to puncture a tire or pierce a foot. How ironic it would be to have a safe day climbing ladders and walking on the roof, only to face blood poisoning from a dirty old nail on the ground.
This is the kind of irony we see as we turn to Acts 6:1-7. The church was surviving external persecution only to find itself threatened by internal conflict. In Acts 4 and 5, the apostles were arrested and beaten for preaching about Jesus. This did not stop them, however, and they even rejoiced that they were worthy to suffer in the same way as Jesus.
So it was strange that conflict threatened them in the opening verses of chapter 6. As the church grew, a ministry of feeding widows developed. One way or another, some were overlooked, creating offense and tension. As the problem unfolded, it developed racial overtones as the Greek Jews complained against the Hebrew Jews. It is not hard to imagine how much damage could have been done to the early church if this problem got of out of hand.
Thankfully the story has a happy ending. The apostles needed to keep on teaching and praying because they were they only eyewitnesses to the resurrection of Jesus. They therefore proposed to appoint seven men who were "full of the Spirit and wisdom" to oversee the ministry. This proposal, Luke tells us, pleased the group. The crisis was averted and the church continued to add great numbers to the fold daily.
The solution they came up with gives us some principles for handling conflict. First of all, we see how holiness and integrity created an atmosphere of trust. There was no doubt about the character of the seven men, and this quickly reduced the tension and suspicion. We need to be people of honesty and integrity. If people know they can trust us absolutely, we will experience less conflict.
They were full of the Holy Spirit. Last Sunday I preached on this passage and used a glass of water to illustrate what this means. While it appeared empty, it was actually full of air. A vacuum might remove the air, but to get every molecule would probably implode the sides. Instead, we could displace the air by pouring water in.
Its the same with us. As we allow God to fill us by the Holy Spirit, the bad parts of our character, like selfishness and ungodly character and behaviour, are displaced. As we allow God to fill us, we will experience less conflict. True, we can’t control what other people do or say to fuel problems, but we can do something about our own character so that, at least, we do not do anything to make it worse.
They were full of wisdom. In the Bible, to be wise is to prove it with our actions. Too often, we want to be people who know for the sake of knowing. We love to study the Bible and we love to give advice. Bible knowledge is good, but only if we actually apply the lessons we learn. It is easier to preach and teach than it is to live it out. But biblical wisdom, true wisdom, is about living out what we know.
The lesson here ought to be obvious. We see the results of people who were filled with the Spirit and lived godly lives. They had the respect of the people and the ability to administer the food distribution wisely. These traits headed off the conflict and the church, it says, increased rapidly.
The lawn magnet I rented had a handle on top. When I pulled the handle, all the stuff stuck on the bottom dropped off. I didn’t discover this handy feature until it was too late. I could have saved myself some work. We can be a magnet for problems, attracting conflict because of the way we handle ourselves, or we can let the Holy Spirit do a work in our character so that conflict does not have to stick to us.
I hope this helps. Be On Fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Oct 1, 2009. *Scripture taken from the New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
OnFire #199 Fallen Fruit from the Family Tree
OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #199 Fallen Fruit from the Family Tree
Hi Folks:
This is a good news and sad news kind of week. Good news - Jan is feeling a little better and thinks the medication for her stomach is helping. Good news - men from our church reshingled our house this weekend.. This was a spiritual experience for me. I couldn’t go on the roof, and as I watched them do for me what I could not do for myself, I became aware of God’s grace for me in a new and very powerful way.
Sad news - we said goodbye to a dear friend this week. Our friend Dwayne passed away quietly with a brain tumour. His funeral was a real celebration of the hope we have in Jesus, but let’s just say that the water level behind the eyes was running high.... Please keep his family in your prayers.
Let’s sandwich the sad news with some more good - my mother has a birthday this week. Happy Birthday, Mom!!! She is a faithful reader, and prints off the letters each week to put in a kind of scrapbook. She is indeed a proud Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am constantly amazed by my boys. The two of them are so different, but I can see myself in both of them. Mark’s body type and temperament are like mine, while Ian has picked up my liking for the outdoors and anything that is shiny, sharp, creates fire, makes a loud noise, or does all of the above at the same time.
"The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree." That’s an expression we use to describe children who strongly exhibit the traits of one of their parents. I’ve been told that I remind people of my grandfather on my mother’s side, down to the way I talk and walk. I consider that a high compliment. He was a godly and wise man whom I try to emulate.
I can see myself in both boys, for better, and for worse. Mark has the same type of slow-burn temper that I have. He can be very patient, but he’ll only go so long and then he’ll blow. It has taken me a lot of years to learn to release pressure in smaller, safer amounts.
I wonder sometimes what bad habits I’m passing along to my boys. I’m going to take Ian hunting with me this year and in the process I’ll teach him a few things. I’ll want to get this right since bad habits in the woods can be deadly.
Bad hunting habits are one thing but bad character traits are an even more serious matter. What sorts of bad character traits are they learning through me? I’m not sure I know, since we have a hard time seeing our own shortcomings. I hope and pray I am leading them well and wisely.
"And they lived in hostility toward all their brothers." (Genesis 25:18*) This simple statement about Ishamel’s offspring is all about character traits passed along to children. They reflect the first words we read about the man. Even before he was born, it was said that he would be "a wild donkey of a man" who would live in "hostility toward all his brothers." (Genesis 16:12)
To be sure, Ishmael had his positive traits. In fact, God blessed him to become the "father of twelve rulers," and a "great nation." (Genesis 17:20) Even still, Ishmael is remembered for his hostility and for passing it along to his sons.
This is helpful for us as we examine the sources of conflict. If we live in conflict and hostility, we are at risk of passing it along to our children. "Like father like son" can be good if we are cultivating good character habits, or bad if we allow conflict and hostility constantly to be part of our lives.
Paul reminds us in Romans, "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (12:17-18) It takes two to fight, but we don’t have to keep it going. When we do, we not only disturb the peace, but we teach those coming behind us to do the same.
I hope someday that people will point to my boys and say, "Like father, like son," and that will indeed be a good thing. I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 23, 2009. *Scripture taken from the New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
OnFire #199 Fallen Fruit from the Family Tree
Hi Folks:
This is a good news and sad news kind of week. Good news - Jan is feeling a little better and thinks the medication for her stomach is helping. Good news - men from our church reshingled our house this weekend.. This was a spiritual experience for me. I couldn’t go on the roof, and as I watched them do for me what I could not do for myself, I became aware of God’s grace for me in a new and very powerful way.
Sad news - we said goodbye to a dear friend this week. Our friend Dwayne passed away quietly with a brain tumour. His funeral was a real celebration of the hope we have in Jesus, but let’s just say that the water level behind the eyes was running high.... Please keep his family in your prayers.
Let’s sandwich the sad news with some more good - my mother has a birthday this week. Happy Birthday, Mom!!! She is a faithful reader, and prints off the letters each week to put in a kind of scrapbook. She is indeed a proud Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am constantly amazed by my boys. The two of them are so different, but I can see myself in both of them. Mark’s body type and temperament are like mine, while Ian has picked up my liking for the outdoors and anything that is shiny, sharp, creates fire, makes a loud noise, or does all of the above at the same time.
"The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree." That’s an expression we use to describe children who strongly exhibit the traits of one of their parents. I’ve been told that I remind people of my grandfather on my mother’s side, down to the way I talk and walk. I consider that a high compliment. He was a godly and wise man whom I try to emulate.
I can see myself in both boys, for better, and for worse. Mark has the same type of slow-burn temper that I have. He can be very patient, but he’ll only go so long and then he’ll blow. It has taken me a lot of years to learn to release pressure in smaller, safer amounts.
I wonder sometimes what bad habits I’m passing along to my boys. I’m going to take Ian hunting with me this year and in the process I’ll teach him a few things. I’ll want to get this right since bad habits in the woods can be deadly.
Bad hunting habits are one thing but bad character traits are an even more serious matter. What sorts of bad character traits are they learning through me? I’m not sure I know, since we have a hard time seeing our own shortcomings. I hope and pray I am leading them well and wisely.
"And they lived in hostility toward all their brothers." (Genesis 25:18*) This simple statement about Ishamel’s offspring is all about character traits passed along to children. They reflect the first words we read about the man. Even before he was born, it was said that he would be "a wild donkey of a man" who would live in "hostility toward all his brothers." (Genesis 16:12)
To be sure, Ishmael had his positive traits. In fact, God blessed him to become the "father of twelve rulers," and a "great nation." (Genesis 17:20) Even still, Ishmael is remembered for his hostility and for passing it along to his sons.
This is helpful for us as we examine the sources of conflict. If we live in conflict and hostility, we are at risk of passing it along to our children. "Like father like son" can be good if we are cultivating good character habits, or bad if we allow conflict and hostility constantly to be part of our lives.
Paul reminds us in Romans, "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (12:17-18) It takes two to fight, but we don’t have to keep it going. When we do, we not only disturb the peace, but we teach those coming behind us to do the same.
I hope someday that people will point to my boys and say, "Like father, like son," and that will indeed be a good thing. I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 23, 2009. *Scripture taken from the New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
Thursday, September 17, 2009
OnFire #198 Lessons from Painting and Roofing
OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #198 Lessons from Painting and Roofing
Hi Folks:
We had an interesting weekend. Jan had some chest pain so we took her to the emergency department. The ekg looked good, but they decided it was better to be cautious and wait for the cardiologist. So she spent the weekend in the hospital. Good news, her stress test was fine, so no heart issues. Now they will begin to track down what the issue may be.
We’re getting ready to put a new roof on the house. If you are in the area and want to help, we’ll start about 7:15 on Saturday morning.
Blessings as you finish the week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We’ve been doing a few things to fix up the house. I’ve painted the wooden surfaces outside and we’re getting ready to put on a new roof.
Roofing and painting are interesting things. Neither one is very complicated and both have easy but important steps which are repeated over and over again until the job is done. Dip the brush and spread the paint. Dip the brush and spread the paint. Of course, the surfaces must be prepared properly and there are little tips and tricks which make the job easier, but mainly it involves faithfulness to the task. Little things over and over again.
Roofing is the same. Shingle by shingle the roof is nailed into place. Again, there are tips and tricks and essentials to be done properly, like flashing the chimney and capping the roof. But mainly there is a lot of faithfulness to the task.
Another thing about roofing or painting - it soon becomes obvious if we didn’t do the job well. I once painted a pine window ledge but didn’t bother to seal the knots. It looked fine for about a month, and then they began to show through the paint. I thought I could get away with it...
Like water dripping through the ceiling, the truth came out for Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 26. It seems that when Isaac and his wife Rebekah moved into the area, they told people she was his sister so that no one would kill him. Rebekah was very beautiful and they were afraid that someone might murder him in order to take Rebekah. As a result, Isaac finds himself in conflict with Abimilech, king of the Phillistines.
Didn’t we read this somewhere else? Yes, two other times. Abraham and Sarah tried this scheme in Genesis 12 and then they tried it again with this same king Genesis 20. Abimilech must have shaken his head when he discovered that Isaac and Rebekah were married - "Here we go again!"
The source of this conflict was a simple little lie. We all know, of course, that lying is a bad thing. But even still, how many times are we tempted to cover things over with a little paint? The instinct is the same for us as it was for Abraham and Isaac. We want to protect ourselves. The words can slip out very quickly, especially if we are used to using them.
Just as Isaac was the source of his conflict, we can become the source of our own conflict. When we ignore some of the basic fundamentals of character and faithfulness, like honesty and integrity, we should not be surprised to find ourselves in disagreement or conflict. "I thought you said you were going to do that!" I think we’ve all heard that one before. What about this one: "But that’s not what you said."
A businessman lamented to me about how difficult it is to find good people. "How hard can it be," he asked, "to find someone to show up on time and do what they said they would do?" Harder than it should be.
There is good news here. We can reduce our level of conflict by being truthful. Not whitewash or cover it. Not blame someone else. Just like in paint and roofing, the truth is going to come out eventually, anyway. Faithfulness means doing little things, like telling the truth, over and over again.
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 17, 2009. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
OnFire #198 Lessons from Painting and Roofing
Hi Folks:
We had an interesting weekend. Jan had some chest pain so we took her to the emergency department. The ekg looked good, but they decided it was better to be cautious and wait for the cardiologist. So she spent the weekend in the hospital. Good news, her stress test was fine, so no heart issues. Now they will begin to track down what the issue may be.
We’re getting ready to put a new roof on the house. If you are in the area and want to help, we’ll start about 7:15 on Saturday morning.
Blessings as you finish the week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We’ve been doing a few things to fix up the house. I’ve painted the wooden surfaces outside and we’re getting ready to put on a new roof.
Roofing and painting are interesting things. Neither one is very complicated and both have easy but important steps which are repeated over and over again until the job is done. Dip the brush and spread the paint. Dip the brush and spread the paint. Of course, the surfaces must be prepared properly and there are little tips and tricks which make the job easier, but mainly it involves faithfulness to the task. Little things over and over again.
Roofing is the same. Shingle by shingle the roof is nailed into place. Again, there are tips and tricks and essentials to be done properly, like flashing the chimney and capping the roof. But mainly there is a lot of faithfulness to the task.
Another thing about roofing or painting - it soon becomes obvious if we didn’t do the job well. I once painted a pine window ledge but didn’t bother to seal the knots. It looked fine for about a month, and then they began to show through the paint. I thought I could get away with it...
Like water dripping through the ceiling, the truth came out for Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 26. It seems that when Isaac and his wife Rebekah moved into the area, they told people she was his sister so that no one would kill him. Rebekah was very beautiful and they were afraid that someone might murder him in order to take Rebekah. As a result, Isaac finds himself in conflict with Abimilech, king of the Phillistines.
Didn’t we read this somewhere else? Yes, two other times. Abraham and Sarah tried this scheme in Genesis 12 and then they tried it again with this same king Genesis 20. Abimilech must have shaken his head when he discovered that Isaac and Rebekah were married - "Here we go again!"
The source of this conflict was a simple little lie. We all know, of course, that lying is a bad thing. But even still, how many times are we tempted to cover things over with a little paint? The instinct is the same for us as it was for Abraham and Isaac. We want to protect ourselves. The words can slip out very quickly, especially if we are used to using them.
Just as Isaac was the source of his conflict, we can become the source of our own conflict. When we ignore some of the basic fundamentals of character and faithfulness, like honesty and integrity, we should not be surprised to find ourselves in disagreement or conflict. "I thought you said you were going to do that!" I think we’ve all heard that one before. What about this one: "But that’s not what you said."
A businessman lamented to me about how difficult it is to find good people. "How hard can it be," he asked, "to find someone to show up on time and do what they said they would do?" Harder than it should be.
There is good news here. We can reduce our level of conflict by being truthful. Not whitewash or cover it. Not blame someone else. Just like in paint and roofing, the truth is going to come out eventually, anyway. Faithfulness means doing little things, like telling the truth, over and over again.
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 17, 2009. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
OnFire #197 When Any Idea Seems Right
OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #197 When Any Idea Seems Right
Hi Folks:
School is back in. Mark went to school Tuesday, and as I write Ian and Taka are getting ready to go back.
We’re finishing some yard and outdoor work. I painted our front door overhang and touched up some areas on our carport. In a few weeks we hope to re-shingle our roof with the help of some men from the church.
I forgot to mention last week that my mother and Ivan brought my grandmother for a visit from PEI. At 91, she is not always able to travel, but she has been feeling well and made the trip. We had a wonderful time together.
Finally, I tried fly fishing for the first time last week. I went salmon fishing with a man from our church on several branches of the world-famous Miramichi River. We only caught a few chub, but we had a great time. Talk about beautiful spots. Not much wonder people love salmon fishing so much. The scenery alone is worth it, and to catch one of those incredible fish would be a real thrill.
Blessings for your week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next conflict we see in scripture happens between Sarai, Abram’s wife, and her maid, Hagar, in Genesis 16.
The story is a little bizarre, really, not something we think might be included in scripture, but that’s one of the things I like about reading the Bible. Bizarre stuff happens in real life, and scripture reflects real life problems and solutions.
Abram and Sarai (who will later become Abraham and Sarah) were getting along in years but could not have children. Earlier God promised children to Abraham, but in Genesis 16 we see that they were getting tired of waiting. Sarai, trying to be helpful I’m sure, suggested that Abram have a child with Hagar. This would preserve his lineage, if not hers. That’s when the trouble began. After Hagar became pregnant, jealousy and anger erupted between the two women. Soon Hagar left because Sarai treated her so poorly.
To me this seems right up there in the "what were they thinking?" category. How could they not see trouble coming? It reminds me of the pictures we find on the internet of people doing things like running power cords through swimming pools or using one forklift to lift another forklift. (I have an album on my Facebook profile called, When You Just Can’t Reach - check it out for some funny pictures)
We’re funny like that, however. If we don’t have the right tool in the box, we’ll use something else even if it doesn’t really fit, just because we don’t want to wait to get the right one. If we run out of something, we’ll substitute another, again, because we don’t want to wait.
As children we wanted to glue strips of paper together, but had no glue. So, we mixed up some flour and water and tried to make glue. We thought we were being clever, but in truth we just made a big mess all over the kitchen which our mother insisted we clean up that night. She wasn’t very happy about it, I recall, and our paste didn’t work, either.
I laugh as I look back on that, but in regular life the consequences are not so funny. In the case of Sarai and Hagar, conflict erupted because Abram and Sarai got tired of waiting. In the absence of what God had promised, they settled for something else.
When we’re desperate and impatient it seems to us that any idea is better than no idea. Never mind that it may compromise what we believe. Never mind that it may cause more problems later. Never mind that it may cost us more in the long term. We want to do something NOW because we’re tired of waiting.
We know patience and wisdom help in relationships but they also keep us from doing something just for the sake of doing something. This is a good thing because, sooner or later, sin and compromise lead to damaged relationships and conflict. When we settle for some idea just because it is the only idea at the moment, how can we not expect trouble?
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 9, 2009. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
OnFire #197 When Any Idea Seems Right
Hi Folks:
School is back in. Mark went to school Tuesday, and as I write Ian and Taka are getting ready to go back.
We’re finishing some yard and outdoor work. I painted our front door overhang and touched up some areas on our carport. In a few weeks we hope to re-shingle our roof with the help of some men from the church.
I forgot to mention last week that my mother and Ivan brought my grandmother for a visit from PEI. At 91, she is not always able to travel, but she has been feeling well and made the trip. We had a wonderful time together.
Finally, I tried fly fishing for the first time last week. I went salmon fishing with a man from our church on several branches of the world-famous Miramichi River. We only caught a few chub, but we had a great time. Talk about beautiful spots. Not much wonder people love salmon fishing so much. The scenery alone is worth it, and to catch one of those incredible fish would be a real thrill.
Blessings for your week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next conflict we see in scripture happens between Sarai, Abram’s wife, and her maid, Hagar, in Genesis 16.
The story is a little bizarre, really, not something we think might be included in scripture, but that’s one of the things I like about reading the Bible. Bizarre stuff happens in real life, and scripture reflects real life problems and solutions.
Abram and Sarai (who will later become Abraham and Sarah) were getting along in years but could not have children. Earlier God promised children to Abraham, but in Genesis 16 we see that they were getting tired of waiting. Sarai, trying to be helpful I’m sure, suggested that Abram have a child with Hagar. This would preserve his lineage, if not hers. That’s when the trouble began. After Hagar became pregnant, jealousy and anger erupted between the two women. Soon Hagar left because Sarai treated her so poorly.
To me this seems right up there in the "what were they thinking?" category. How could they not see trouble coming? It reminds me of the pictures we find on the internet of people doing things like running power cords through swimming pools or using one forklift to lift another forklift. (I have an album on my Facebook profile called, When You Just Can’t Reach - check it out for some funny pictures)
We’re funny like that, however. If we don’t have the right tool in the box, we’ll use something else even if it doesn’t really fit, just because we don’t want to wait to get the right one. If we run out of something, we’ll substitute another, again, because we don’t want to wait.
As children we wanted to glue strips of paper together, but had no glue. So, we mixed up some flour and water and tried to make glue. We thought we were being clever, but in truth we just made a big mess all over the kitchen which our mother insisted we clean up that night. She wasn’t very happy about it, I recall, and our paste didn’t work, either.
I laugh as I look back on that, but in regular life the consequences are not so funny. In the case of Sarai and Hagar, conflict erupted because Abram and Sarai got tired of waiting. In the absence of what God had promised, they settled for something else.
When we’re desperate and impatient it seems to us that any idea is better than no idea. Never mind that it may compromise what we believe. Never mind that it may cause more problems later. Never mind that it may cost us more in the long term. We want to do something NOW because we’re tired of waiting.
We know patience and wisdom help in relationships but they also keep us from doing something just for the sake of doing something. This is a good thing because, sooner or later, sin and compromise lead to damaged relationships and conflict. When we settle for some idea just because it is the only idea at the moment, how can we not expect trouble?
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 9, 2009. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
OnFire #196 Thorns Under the Skin
OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #196 Thorns Under the Skin
We continue on our series of people in conflict in the Bible. This week we see how Abram handles a delicate situation with his nephew, Lot, in Genesis 13.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of Jan’s projects this week was to prune the rosebush near our back door. When she couldn’t get a few of the woody branches she asked me to help, so I reached down and promptly got pricked. Bleeding, I picked out the thorns and completed the job. After picking out a dozen more tiny darts, I still have some left. I can’t see them, but I can feel them.
Thorns aren’t the only things that can get under our skin. People have been known to irritate us and this is what happened when Abram (later Abraham) and his nephew Lot found themselves too close together to support both of their vast sheep herding enterprises. In Genesis 13:7 we read that Abram’s and Lot’s herdsmen began quarrelling.
We can hear it and understand it. There is only so much good pasture land, and only just so much water, but who will get it? And then what happens when a few sheep go missing? Who gets blamed for that, even if natural causes or wildlife are responsible? Finally, add tempers into the mix, and the situation becomes volatile. We can read all of this into verse 7. There was more at stake than a few words. The situation threatened to blow up by involving the heads of the families.
That’s where Abram and Lot came into things, but there were no explosions. Rather, Abram diffused the situation with calm and grace. In verse 8 we read, "Let's not have any quarreling between you and me.” Just because their shepherds were fighting did not mean that they needed to quarrel also. It is tempting to walk into other people’s fights. Someone told a friend when he moved to a close-knit community that if you cut one, they all bleed. Loyalty is good, but it can sometimes lead us blindly. Abram did not let this happen.
And yet something needed to change. The situation couldn’t remain the same because they had too many animals for the land to support. Someone had to move, and again, we see Abram’s grace. In verses 8 and 9, Abram says, essentially, “Hey look, Lot - there’s plenty of land for the two of us. You go one direction - you choose - and I’ll go the other.”
When our boys were younger we taught them how to divide fairly. One would cut, and the other would choose between the two pieces. This is what Abram did on a far grander scale. Lot took the land he could see in front of him which was, according to verse 10, like the garden of Eden. This meant that Abram would have to move, even though he had the right as an elder family member - Lot’s uncle even - to tell Lot to move on. Instead, he left for Hebron.
A little bit of grace goes a long way in a dispute, and there are many ways to extend this mercy. “I’m sorry.” “What can I do to make it better?” “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Even refusing to be offended is an act of grace. Last week we talked about how we can see offense where none was intended. Well, sometimes offense IS intended, but we don’t have to take it that way. Fighting words don’t have to be. I’ve done sound several times for musicians who, to put it mildly, acted like spoiled brats. I wanted to walk off, to leave them singing into the air. That’s just one example that comes to my mind, but there are many more. Sometimes I did the right thing by extending grace, sometimes I did not.
But - here’s the point - we are expected to extend more grace than others are often willing to grant.
It doesn’t feel right sometimes. We want the other person to extend grace to us. We want them to move, to give in. Its the principle of the thing, isn’t it?
But Abram shows us that grace can diffuse a tense situation. He would not be goaded by his shepherds or prodded by others who might insist he stand up for his rights. Rather, he offered up a solution even though it meant more inconvenience to him that Lot. That’s grace in action.
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Aug 26, 2009. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
OnFire #196 Thorns Under the Skin
We continue on our series of people in conflict in the Bible. This week we see how Abram handles a delicate situation with his nephew, Lot, in Genesis 13.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of Jan’s projects this week was to prune the rosebush near our back door. When she couldn’t get a few of the woody branches she asked me to help, so I reached down and promptly got pricked. Bleeding, I picked out the thorns and completed the job. After picking out a dozen more tiny darts, I still have some left. I can’t see them, but I can feel them.
Thorns aren’t the only things that can get under our skin. People have been known to irritate us and this is what happened when Abram (later Abraham) and his nephew Lot found themselves too close together to support both of their vast sheep herding enterprises. In Genesis 13:7 we read that Abram’s and Lot’s herdsmen began quarrelling.
We can hear it and understand it. There is only so much good pasture land, and only just so much water, but who will get it? And then what happens when a few sheep go missing? Who gets blamed for that, even if natural causes or wildlife are responsible? Finally, add tempers into the mix, and the situation becomes volatile. We can read all of this into verse 7. There was more at stake than a few words. The situation threatened to blow up by involving the heads of the families.
That’s where Abram and Lot came into things, but there were no explosions. Rather, Abram diffused the situation with calm and grace. In verse 8 we read, "Let's not have any quarreling between you and me.” Just because their shepherds were fighting did not mean that they needed to quarrel also. It is tempting to walk into other people’s fights. Someone told a friend when he moved to a close-knit community that if you cut one, they all bleed. Loyalty is good, but it can sometimes lead us blindly. Abram did not let this happen.
And yet something needed to change. The situation couldn’t remain the same because they had too many animals for the land to support. Someone had to move, and again, we see Abram’s grace. In verses 8 and 9, Abram says, essentially, “Hey look, Lot - there’s plenty of land for the two of us. You go one direction - you choose - and I’ll go the other.”
When our boys were younger we taught them how to divide fairly. One would cut, and the other would choose between the two pieces. This is what Abram did on a far grander scale. Lot took the land he could see in front of him which was, according to verse 10, like the garden of Eden. This meant that Abram would have to move, even though he had the right as an elder family member - Lot’s uncle even - to tell Lot to move on. Instead, he left for Hebron.
A little bit of grace goes a long way in a dispute, and there are many ways to extend this mercy. “I’m sorry.” “What can I do to make it better?” “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Even refusing to be offended is an act of grace. Last week we talked about how we can see offense where none was intended. Well, sometimes offense IS intended, but we don’t have to take it that way. Fighting words don’t have to be. I’ve done sound several times for musicians who, to put it mildly, acted like spoiled brats. I wanted to walk off, to leave them singing into the air. That’s just one example that comes to my mind, but there are many more. Sometimes I did the right thing by extending grace, sometimes I did not.
But - here’s the point - we are expected to extend more grace than others are often willing to grant.
It doesn’t feel right sometimes. We want the other person to extend grace to us. We want them to move, to give in. Its the principle of the thing, isn’t it?
But Abram shows us that grace can diffuse a tense situation. He would not be goaded by his shepherds or prodded by others who might insist he stand up for his rights. Rather, he offered up a solution even though it meant more inconvenience to him that Lot. That’s grace in action.
I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy
OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Aug 26, 2009. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com Blog located at http://onfireletter.blogspot.com/
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