OnFire #312 More Stressful than I Thought

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #312 More Stressful than I Thought

I wrote a couple weeks ago about our kitchen renovation. It is almost finished. The flooring guy comes Friday, and the parts to install our dishwasher should come any day, so we are almost finished. From start to finish, we have moved a heating pipe into a wall, upgraded our kitchen electrical circuits and moved the stove plug, repaired wall board, fixed damaged ceiling, primed and painted, and installed cabinets, counter, and over-stove microwave.

Our place is slowly getting back to normal. For a while I couldn’t tell if we were living through a renovation, or an episode of “Hoarders.” We had stuff everywhere.

We had help from a friend. It was great that Dan could come and we had a great visit as well.

Something I don’t understand after the whole experience. This was way more stressful than I thought it would be. I don’t even know why it was so stressful. It went along relatively smoothly with few surprises, good help,  etc.  But it was.

I know some of the factors. We only had our friend’s help for just so long. Little things held us up at times, like moving outlets, and that was frustrating.  Our space and routines were disturbed. We could hardly move around the house without stepping over, around, or on something. The tension of making decisions, which I knew would delay the project, but had to be done anyway. On and on.  I suppose if you’ve been through this before, there is no surprise here.  I’ve worked on other people’s renovations before, but this was my own, and it was different. Much more stressful than I thought it would be.

Well, it’s almost over, and most things are put away. Looking back, I see some actions and attitudes which helped, and some others which probably added to the stress. Let me share these things with you, as I think you’ll agree there are broader lessons for the rest of life.

This won’t last forever.

As these things go, it was a short reno;  they can last weeks and months, so I don’t want to whine too much. Even still, I found this thought a source of comfort.  Indeed, most situations don’t last forever. It won’t always be this way is another way to express this thought.

Getting snippy doesn’t help.

Apparently I get more directive under stress, and I forget my please and thank you’s. That’s the kinder version of  what Jan told me, at least. Backing off, waiting to answer, exercising patience – all these things help make stressful situations go a lot better. Its one thing to have stress, but I don’t need to be a carrier.

Pray for God’s peace.

Ironically, on the Sunday before most of the work, I preached from Philippians 4:6 -7 on God’s peace:  

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”*

I found myself reminded about my own words many times during the week, and prayed about my own stress (anxiety).  I would have been much worse without prayer.

Its probably not as big as you think.

Every reno brings problems, issues and decisions, and ours was no exception.  Taken together, they seemed huge. But  one by one, and with a little time to think about them, they were more manageable and less intimidating.  Most problems appear larger than they really are.

It’s time to call in some help.

We originally planned to put down the vinyl floor on our own. I have done some basic floors, and I thought between me and Dan we could figure it out. But when Dan wasn’t so sure, I took another look, and realized it was beyond our abilities.  That’s when we decided we needed an expert.  This was a good decision. There are times when we would do better to admit we don’t know.

There is no going back.

A few times I found myself thinking, “Maybe we could have salvaged the old cabinets.”  That wasn’t realistic. Plus, once we started the demolition, it was impossible to restore the kitchen. The only way to finish successfully was to keep going on. In the mess of things, it is easy to glorify the past, as if going back was an option. God’s best for us is in the future, not behind us.

It will be worth it in the end.

There was no way to install a new kitchen without creating a mess. But it was worth it, and thankfully we understood this from the beginning. It helped. By keeping the goal in mind, it was easier to press on.

These are some thoughts that helped us over the past few weeks. There are certainly more pressing issues in life than our temporary renovation, but perhaps you’ll agree that there are parallels to some of life’s other troubles.

Blessings, and hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Mar 13, 2014. Troy is the Pastor of Next Generations and Connections at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. *New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com

OnFire #310 Discerning God's Will

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #310 Discerning God’s Will

Hi Folks:

I’ve got some neat news. On Feb 17, one of my devotionals appears in the Upper Room. The Upper Room is the largest publication daily devotional in the world, so I think that’s pretty cool. On Feb 17, my devotional is in both the print and online editions. If you visit the online version, you can also access my follow-up blog post.

Here is the link to the Upper Room. http://devotional.upperroom.org/

Twitter users will be pleased to know I’m now on Twitter. Follow me @DTroyDennis

Ian has started interviewing for jobs. He will graduate from his forestry and wildlife program in May, so this is important. We appreciate your prayers for him in this.

OnFire is perhaps a little different this time, more teaching oriented. However, these are some of the principles that we have used to discern God’s direction and will for us. I pass them along hoping they are helpful.  There is always more to clarify or add. Feel free to email.

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Changing jobs, moving, a major purchase or sale such as a car or house, education choice, career direction, time commitments, and change in marriage status are all examples of major life decisions about which we ought to be concerned for God’s direction in our lives.  You may have your own concerns and life decisions to fill out my list of examples.

I’ve put together some of the principles we use to help us discern God’s will.  I’m not going to claim to have some kind of perfect handle on this. As always, we need to move forward in faith and humility.

This is a Process

When I say process, I’m thinking a few things. It is not linear, and there is no way to predict how long it will take. “Do these five steps in order, bake at 350 for 10 minutes, and Ding! You have a decision.” Please read mild sarcasm in this. We’re not making muffins. We’re making major life decisions. 

Seek Holiness

Holiness is fast-becoming an old-fashioned term, but comes from passages like 1 Peter 1:15, “just as he who called you is holy, be holy.…” Sin creates spiritual noise and complication which makes it hard to hear God.  As the Spirit convicts, confess and repent (1 John 1:9).

Slow the boat

When a friend and I first began running rapids in a local river, we got stuck on almost every rock. After a while we realized if we slowed the canoe it gave us time to form a plan and line up the boat for the best angle of attack.

The same principle works in life. We often feel anxious about the future and we just want to make a decision so we can get on with life and get rid of our worry. Most situations, however, do not need an answer right now, and in fact, would benefit from slowing down the process. Resist the pressure to decide right now.

Pray

We sometimes take this part of the process too lightly. We toss God a quick prayer and then wonder why He doesn’t send a plane to write it in the sky.

Prayer is both talking, and listening. Depending on the nature of the decision, we may consider fasting as well. We have to allow God time to speak to us, in particular about our motivation. Is this only about what we want, or is it truly what God may want for us?

Even though I list prayer here, it needs to be part of the entire process.

Ask: Does it go against God’s revealed will?

God is not going to lead us in a direction that goes against what He has already told us in the Bible. We would call this God’s general will.  God’s specific will for us will be consistent with God’s general will. I once talked with a man, a former deacon from another church who told me God led him to leave his wife and take up with his secretary. God was not leading that man. Sadly, many people aren’t willing to listen and it causes a lot of pain.

Find wise and trusted people for advice.

These must be people not afraid to give their opinion, even if they don’t agree with us. I rely on my wife, mother, some friends, and pastor. 

Depending on the nature of the decision and direction, I may expand the circles to get specialized advice such as financial or legal.

Seek God’s timing

The WHEN of God’s will is as important as the WHAT. Sometimes we push too hard and fast for a resolution. It is a hard lesson when we think, “If only I had waited…”

Take One Step at a Time

God has rarely revealed the whole picture to me.  I sense a direction, but don’t always know where it is leading. It is easy to worry about the upcoming steps. We don’t need to understand everything, however.  I compare it to driving on a foggy road. It is only as we keep moving ahead that we see the next section of road.

Misconceptions about God’s Will

I’ve compiled a list of misconceptions and misunderstandings about discerning God’s will. Here they are, with some basic explanations.

“If it is not God’s will, He will stop me… “

I’ve heard this one a bunch of times over the years, often as justification for risky or sinful behavior. The fact is, God allows us to make our own decisions, and if we ignore good advice, our conscience, and the conviction of the Holy Spirit, God may allow us to make bad decisions.

“It feels right, so it must be God’s will…”

Put simply, feelings can be wrong, influenced by faulty perceptions and selfish motivations. We can’t make major life decisions based on a feeling. God gave us a brain for a reason, and we need to use it. 

“If everything is going against you, you must be in the wrong lane.”

Difficulties may be signs of going in the wrong direction, but they may also just be signs of the spiritual battle we face.  Do we really expect Satan to sit on his hands while we make spiritual progress? Perseverance is important if we are to seek God’s will.

“But I prayed about it.” OR, “God told me.”

These lines have been used on us a number of times by people trying to manipulate situations to their advantage. Don’t get sucked into this. Prayer is no guarantee against being wrong. 

“If I mess up I’ve blown it forever with God.”

A bad decision is not the beginning of the end.

1 John 1:9 reminds us that if we sin, we can have forgiveness from God.

Romans 8:28 tells us that God is a redeeming God, able to bring good even in the worst of circumstances.

God is a redeeming God. We find this in scripture, and it is the testimony of  countless Christians through the ages.

“There is no safer place than in the center of God’s will.”

People normally mean that being in God’s will protects us from the needless consequences of sinful behavior. True. But, this does not mean we will never face difficulty, hardship, or  danger.

OnFire is a letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Jan 27, 2014. Troy is the Pastor of Next Generations and Connections at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. *New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com, but I’m a little behind in updating things. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com

OnFire #308 Non Destructive Testing

OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #308 Non Destructive Testing

Had the Lord not called me into ministry, I think I might have chosen engineering as a profession. Then again, a lot of things are fun if you don’t have to make a living doing them, like cutting wood, for instance. Even still, I love to know how things work and as a child I took a lot of things apart. Sometimes I even got them to work again. Even now, I love to watch shows on how things are made or built.

I remember watching a show on how they test metals for how strong they are. This was on things like bridges and airplanes and pipelines, where they can’t destroy it by testing it. That’s one way, to stress it until it breaks and measure it. But some things you can’t test by breaking them, so they have to develop ways to test them. One way is to do an x-ray. That’s how they test the welds on pipelines. They wrap a piece of film around the pipe, and then use x-ray, an extended and larger version of the way they do our teeth.

And then there is another way where they sprinkle  iron filings across the piece of metal and then use a magnet. If the metal is good and there are no cracks, then the iron filings line up, but if there are cracks, even tiny microscopic ones, then the filings don’t line up properly. It can look good, but unseen cracks threaten the strength of the structure.

Engineers test materials because they want to know the fundamental nature and character of the metal. What is it really like? Will it stand up to the test of daily use and abuse? I’m grateful for this work because when I fly, I want to know that the landing gear of the plane is strong, and that the wings won’t fall off.

There are a lot of parallels to human character. How do we know what someone is like? What they are really like? This is important in hiring, marrying, or appointing leaders to programs, boards, and committees.

But this is not only about evaluating others. As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are called to evaluate our own character and behavour. There are lots of passages which help us, but lately I came across 1Thessalonians 1:3 in my own reading:  “We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Paul was thankful for three fundamental characteristics: Their faith, love and hope. The evidence of these traits was seen in the results they produced - works, labour and endurance.

As I read this passage one day, it hit me that I was working hard, but that’s all it was, just hard work. I was lacking the faith that told me the work was for something larger and bigger than I am. And I was doing it just because that’s what I do. I work hard and there is always something to do, but I was lacking love as a motivation. Not that I hated what I was doing. Rather, it startled me that I forgot I was doing so much of what I do to help people. I got caught in a list of tasks. This passage reminded me that there are people on the other end of what I do, and it changed the way I looked at my work.

The line that got me was this one: “Your labour prompted by love.” It was the spiritual x-ray that revealed little cracks in my character. I don’t believe I was far off, and no one, perhaps, would have detected it. But I had lost sight of the people I was serving, and that was a character issue which needed to be addressed. I thanked God for the insight and almost immediately the work became easier, more pleasant and enjoyable. That was a confirmation of the verse and a further reminder to remember my love for these people.

As at other times, I pass along this along because I figure if I have trouble with these things, and I’m the “professional religious guy,” then perhaps others face the same things. I hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Dec 2, 2013. Troy is the Pastor of Next Generations and Connections at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. *New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com, but I’m a little behind in updating things. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com

OnFire #303 Reflections on Courage

We continue to look at the “Himalayas of the human condition” in Romans 12:9-21. These verses are the high peaks of character transformation.

“Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.” (9-10)*

Love is more than a feeling. It is active, and looks out for other people. It does all it can to stop evil from coming upon the other person.

One of my great lessons in this happened at a ball game with our youth group in Boston. When we arrived to take our seats at the Green Monster wall, we found that some of our seats were taken. Since there were other seats available just across the aisle, we encouraged the youth to take what seats they could. The game wasn’t a sell-out and so this was not a problem, but our group was not sitting together as we had originally planned.

As the leader, I evaluated things. I was worried about creating a confrontation in a strange city, and while the arrangement was not ideal, it was not bad either. I elected to leave things as they were.
One of my youth leaders, however, a young university student, took it upon herself to gather the tickets from the affected youth. She walked over to the people sitting in our seats, showed them our tickets, and moved them. It was an amazing piece of work. It was brave and just, and I learned a lot that day about taking courage to stand up for others.

“Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.” (9-10)*

To hate evil and cling to what is good means we need to overcome our own inertia. To do something means we have to change what we were planning to do. Hey, let’s face it, it is usually easier not to get involved. But being devoted to one another is about putting ourselves aside.

We must face our fears for what might happen as we stand against evil intention. It has been said that courage is not the lack of fear, but rather action despite fear. We feared the unknown which a confrontation might bring, but my youth leader took courage anyway.

It takes determination: “I will NOT let this thing happen. I WILL do everything I can.” This is hating evil and clinging to the good.

This is an area where stereotypical markers of courage do not matter. We think of size, strength, age, and position as advantages, but they are not necessary. I have seen some really big guys who lacked moral courage, and some pretty tiny ladies who could make a king cringe. As I write, Nelson Mandela lies in a hospital bed in South Africa. For many years he led people against the forces of apartheid from a prison cell.

Some lessons are hard. I was ashamed of my inaction that day, but what a lesson it was. Better to learn from a mistake than not to learn at all. And perhaps, I hope, I am putting the lesson into practice each day.

I hope this helps. Be on fire. Let us take courage and act, even when we are afraid.
Troy

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published June 27, 2013. Troy is the Pastor of Next Generations and Connections at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. * New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com

OnFire #293 Pineapple Surprise

OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #293 Pineapple Surprise

I opened the cupboard door and reached for a new can of cat food. I grabbed it from the shelf we normally keep these things on, the second one from the bottom, below line of sight where we put the more well-used things like soups, but above the things we stoop to pick up, like the potatoes. I wasn’t really paying attention. I grabbed the generic yellow can and then picked the opener from its place in the drawer nearby.

What a surprise to find pineapple inside. Well, it was and it wasn’t. Jan had run out of space on the shelves above and set it there several weeks before. With its bright yellow budget brand wrapper, it could have been anything, and I had almost mistaken it for cat food several times.

I thought it really was a delight to be surprised by the pineapple. Jan and Mark were working in the kitchen when it happened and we shared a laugh over it. If anything, I tend toward the serious and so laughter is good. Jan’s first words were, “Don’t eat it. I’ll make it into something.” She knows me well. I like pineapple and would have seized the opportunity which the now-open can presented.

There are all sorts of lessons in this, I suppose. To pay attention, read carefully, and not assume. Good lessons, but not the ones I saw that day.

Wonder is the word which comes to mind. I love it when little things like this brighten and lift a day. We can’t take them granted. Often these little things are what we needed to click us out of a mood or a funk, and I think are heaven-sent.

Our God is a God of surprise, of wonder and joy. Do a word search in the Bible and discover that wonders happened when God acted to bring about a different result from what was expected by the circumstances. The Israelites did not expect rescue at the Red Sea. David did not always expect to see the light of day when he was chased by his enemies. The people who came to Jesus for healing had exhausted all other avenues of hope. That’s what makes these events wonders. Each person was surprised.

Human nature, I think, is that we forget the Lord is God. He is not like us, not limited as we are, not hindered by weaknesses and faults. We constantly need reminders that He is a God of surprise and wonders, and trust Him to do far more than we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).

A can of pineapple is a small thing, but it brought a little joy to a day which had been filled with burdens and worry. A surprise is still a surprise. As we begin this new year, may we all look with new eyes to the God of surprises and wonders.

Ps 40:5 Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us  no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.

 OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Jan 10, 2013. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com

OnFire #290 The Battlefield of the Mind

OnFire Encourage Letter

OnFire #290 The Battlefield of the Mind

This past week we honoured our veterans on Remembrance Day and this year, as in past years, I played Last Post and Reveille at a service. When Remembrance Day falls on Sunday, I normally play in our own church, but this year we arranged to make a video of me playing so I could play live at a seniors complex. It is always an honour to play for those who have put their lives on the line so that others might enjoy freedom.

While those people faced battles of a more literal variety, these past few weeks I have faced a number of battles of the mind. While they were not as momentous as those faced by our veterans, they were, nonetheless, troubling to me.

I had some vacation and was really hoping to spend at least a few days hunting, but a number of appointments and other things kept me in town until Thursday that week. I was so frustrated to be stuck at home. This was going to be the year, finally, when I could take my time and pay attention to the hunt. My thoughts are often so divided that I looked forward to being a little more single-minded. But then there were all these appointments and other things. Grumble, grumble....

On Saturday of that week, Jan was away and Mark and I were getting ready to visit Ian overnight in Fredericton at his college. As I was getting things together, I heard water running in the kitchen and found one of the cupboards flooded. The sewer drain in the bathroom had broken. To find and fix the problem we had to cut out part of a cabinet and make a big hole in the ceiling. We did get to visit Ian that night, but I spent Monday last week cutting and fixing old sewer pipe, and then cleaning and disinfecting everything. What a mess.

These were two of the big frustrations. I won’t go into some of the other ones; these two illustrate some of the kinds of problems we all face from time to time. Often we roll with many of them, but once in a while they mount up.

This is the battlefield of the mind. How will we react? What will we think? How will we treat the people around us? I found it a constant struggle that week to deal with all of the conflicting thoughts and emotions. Early in the week I was angry to be stuck in town. At the same time, I didn’t want to be miserable to live with. “How do I make the most of this, for everyone?” was the question which came to mind. I went back and forth on this all week and constantly had to remind myself. I won’t promise I was perfect, but I have to think I was a lot better than I would have been.

Later in the week I was discouraged over the plumbing issue. How much would this cost? How long would it take to clean up. But then as I was cutting holes in my ceiling to track the leak, it occurred to me that it was a lot better to do this now than in a year’s time. We hope to renovate our kitchen this year. Thank you, Lord, that we found the problem now and not later.

In the end things worked out very well. I caught up on some neglected things around the house. I had a successful hunt. We still got to visit Ian. A man from our church is a plumber and showed me how to do the work on the drain, even bringing a “goodie bag” of assorted parts. I was able to fix it myself for the cost of parts and now we know things are solid for the renovation.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”* This is the battlefield of the mind, to put aside our first and strongest selfish reactions to allow God to do something better.

I hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Nov 14, 2012. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. *Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com . Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire 289 Hunting, Large Arms and the Bible

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #289 Hunting, Large Arms, and the Bible

Two thoughts, from entirely different and unexpected directions, came together this week.

Monday was the start of deer season and it will come as no surprise that I was out hunting. I’m sad to report I didn’t see a thing all day, although I know there are people who will be quite happy about that.

When we moved here a few years ago, a man from our church set me up in some areas he has been hunting since he was young. The inside of his hunting camp is a testament to his success as a hunter. More than a dozen mounted trophies illustrate his skill with the gun and bow. A bulletin board is covered with photos of him and others with their prizes. I added my own picture a few years ago.

To see him at his camp is to see his passion and commitment to hunting. Over the years he has invested countless time, energy and money, and it shows. He often sees deer on his hunts, and while he rarely shoots one now, it is not for lack of opportunity. He enjoys taking people like me and probably loves it more when we have success than when he does.

When he gives me some advice about hunting, I take it seriously because he knows what he is talking about. He has credibility.

Thought number two. I’ve been going to the gym to exercise since January. My goal is to do a combination of cardio and weight training at least twice a week in order to increase my fitness level and provide an outlet for stress. It has been working. I’ve lost about 10 lbs, my clothes fit more loosely and I can jog comfortably now.

I’ve noticed some interesting things in those hundred or so visits to the gym. There are a variety of people interested in fitness, everyone from teens to seniors. And there is a wide spectrum of commitment. I saw two young ladies on the bicycles one evening, barely moving the peddles, despite the easy settings they used. It didn’t seem to be hard for them. Rather, they appeared to be distracted as they changed the channels on their TV's (a lot of the machines have TV's – it really helps to prevent boredom), flipped pages in their magazines, texted, and chatted back and forth. I wonder if they ever say things like, “I go to the gym all the time, but it’s not doing anything.”

By contrast, I spotted a guy last night I hadn’t seen before, with the largest set of arms I have ever seen in person. Although I’m no weakling, I’ve long since gotten used to feeling a little small in comparison to some of the guys in the gym. But I have to say I felt downright puny working out next to him. He was using three times the amount of weight I was. Three times! He had clearly put in his time, with impressive results. At different points friends came over to see how he was doing. They talked about the gym and workout routines. Credibility.

People have credibility because knowledge and action come together in experience. There is a proven track record to show that they know what they are talking about. They are believable because the evidence is plain for all to see. A hunter has a trophy on the wall and meat in the freezer. A man in the gym has arms to show he can build his body.

Christians develop credibility when our actions, attitudes, lifestyle, behavior, habits, character and conduct illustrate that we follow Jesus. Do we have to be perfect? Of course not. We gain credibility when people see effort and consistency. We lose credibility when our effort is inconsistent or at odds with what we believe.

The apostle James talked about credibility:

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.... But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”* James 3:13-17

Hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Oct 24, 2012. Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #288 Things that Go Boom

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #288 Things that Go Boom

A few weeks ago, our son Ian and I went duck hunting with a man from our church. Duck hunting is pretty exciting as it combines accuracy with speed and a little cunning. To lure the ducks into our area, we set out about a half dozen plastic duck decoys. As I understand it, ducks like company and it takes a crowd to make a crowd. They are more likely to land where others are already feeding, so we hoped the decoys would entice some birds to land in front of our blind.

A word about blinds. They hide hunters. Like most wild animals, ducks are always on the lookout for danger, and nothing says trouble like a few guys sitting behind a tree with guns. So, it is important that the blind break up the outline and pattern of the people sitting in it. Burlap, camouflage, and branches are popular and work well. From our cozy spot on a point of land beside a river we had already claimed two birds that morning, and hoped to get a few more before the wind picked up.

We had just settled into the blind after retrieving our ducks when we saw a boat approach from downriver. It was a bass boat, fast, with two men aboard, and it appeared to us that they were looking for something. We guessed they were duck hunting, like we were, and perhaps hoped to “jump” or surprise some ducks which might flush from the marsh. As they neared our point of land, the boat slowed and drifted to a stop in front of our decoys.

Did I say that decoys look like real ducks? If they didn’t realize these were fakes, we were now in the line of fire if they were hunters.

All at once, we stood up in the blind to show ourselves, but they didn’t see us. One man reached to pull something from a locker on deck while the other dropped the trolling moter at the front of the boat. And then both picked up fishing rods and cast into the river.

We were more than a little relieved to know that they weren’t going to shoot in our direction, but now we had another situation. As long as these guys were fishing from their boat, nothing was going to fly in our direction, and, in fact, we couldn’t shoot if they did because they were now in our line of fire.

We looked at each other and wondered what to do. How do we get their attention? Wait for them to notice? Yell? Fire a shot into the air? We could hardly believe the situation in front of us. I was already thinking of the story we could tell later, and pulled out the camera. You can see the picture on my website at www.onfireletter.com

All of this unfolded in less than sixty seconds. Looking for a new place to cast, one of the men spotted us standing in the blind and called out. “Sorry boys.... Good hiding spot.” At this they pulled up the trolling motor and left.

We did the right thing by waiting. We would have called out if they hadn’t noticed us in a few more moments. It was tempting to fire a shot into the air, but anytime a firearm is discharged it is potentially dangerous, and that sort of thing tends to tick people off. While it was an option, it was not a wise one.

This situation left me thinking about a lot of the tricky situations I have been in. Patience and tact are not always what I think to do first. Sometimes I’d like to go off with a big boom. Let people know how upset I am, how serious I think the situation is. Especially if the situation has a history. The more history there is, the harder it is to be patient. But going off with a big boom rarely accomplishes anything good. We make a lot of noise, some get scared, and some get ticked off or come back with something even bigger.

Proverbs 14:29 says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”*

I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Oct 17, 2012. Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com . Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com . Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com .

OnFire #286 Peeling Back Old Shingles

Onfire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #286 Peeling Back Old Shingles

For the last week I’ve been using any spare time I have to replace the shingles on our carport. They were long since past their best-before date, curled and brittle. A few years ago we replaced the shingles on our roof, but we put off doing the carport to save money. We couldn’t put it off any longer as wind damaged shingles last year, and the condition of the rest of them told us it was not wise or prudent to delay. 

So, like I mentioned, I’ve been working away on this over the past week. It isn’t a large area, isn’t very high off the ground, and isn’t steep. Our son Mark and a man from our church helped on Saturday. Monday I finished 14 rows and now there are only a few rows left.

I had a little surprise when I peeled back the shingles nearest the house and found some rotten wood, signaling that water was a problem in that area. I think I understand how it got in. This is important as I want to avoid costly issues in the future. Thankfully the damage wasn’t structural, and it confirmed for me that it was a good idea to change the way it had been done compared to last time. This way should make it a lot harder for water to leak under the shingles.

Tearing off  those shingles reminds me of the process of transformation we have as believers. We find this process of change in verses like these:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

We are, or ought to be, in a continual process of peeling back old ways and replacing them with new ones, of getting rid of negative and harmful character traits and replacing them with new traits of godliness.

It sounds simple enough. After all, it is easy to point out the weaknesses of others, but they are harder to see for ourselves. We are often blind to our own faults and weaknesses until something happens to show us up, and then we stand uncomfortably exposed.

The better approach is continually to ask God to reveal the changes we need to make in our behaviour, our actions, thoughts and attitudes. As we come to understand these things, we can make the changes we need to be transformed.

I hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 19, 2012. Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #285 Free At Last

OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #285 Free At Last

Hi Folks:

The big news is that Ian is settling into life at college in Fredericton - the Maritime College of Forest Technology. This is a big change for our family, harder for his parents than for him, I suspect. But he is doing well, enjoying his classes.

This week we kick off our Sunday school at church with a gospel illusionist at 9:30. I’ll lead some songs, and we’ll honour one of our classes for their 100th anniversary. If you are in the Moncton area, come visit Highfield Baptist. I think we’re going to have a great morning.

Blessings for your week.
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“Free, free at last!” This is what I thought as I watched my mother’s car pull away from the university. It was 1985, and while she was shedding tears of sadness, I was shedding tears of joy that I was free to test my wings. I was 17 and ready to explore the world on my own, no longer under the watchful eyes of my family.

These memories were all too fresh the other day as we left Ian at his college. What a conflicting ball of emotions I felt. I was sad that a chapter in our lives was drawing to a close. Routines that included Ian at home would change, and I can’t walk this part of the journey with him. “Suck it up,” I told myself. “You’re not the first parent to go through this.” So, there was sadness.

Strangely, a small bit of jealousy was part of the mix. Here were all these young kids just starting out on their adventures. All their hopes and dreams are so fresh. Why is the beginning of the adventure always the most exciting part? I like where my adventure has taken me thus far, but there is something exciting about being at the beginning. Ah, but I digress...

I was, and am, nervous for Ian. Is he ready for the stress and pressure of student life? And, how will he handle his new-found freedom? The issue here is one of character. Who, really, is he? I am confident in him, but yet the answers to these questions can only be found in time, and in the context of his new freedom. We will only discover his true nature as we see how he handles himself.

Students are not the only ones who demonstrate their character by how they handle freedom. Indeed, it is the same for all of us. The apostle Paul wrote about freedom in Galatians. Freedom is not meant to be about just doing “what I want,” which leads to all sorts of selfish behaviour. Rather, the Christian demonstrates freedom in Christ differently. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23*)

Freedom is a test of character. We can use freedom (freedom from others watching, freedom to spend our time or money as we want) simply to indulge our own desires and pleasures, or we can use our freedom to honour Jesus Christ. The choice is ours, and how we use our freedom shows who we really are, the true nature of our character. We expect to find apples on apple trees. Likewise, these are behaviours which people ought to find in us as followers of Jesus Christ.

These verses are on my “top ten” list because they are reminders to me, a kind of inventory to see how I’m doing. At times I slip toward selfishness, but this group of character traits calls me back.

Hope this helps. Be on fire.

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 7, 2012. Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.
 

OnFire #282 Fireworks, Facebook, and Faith

Onfire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #282 Fireworks, Facebook and Faith

Hi Folks:

What a great few weeks it has been. Our oldest, Ian, graduated from high school. What a proud moment it was to see him walk across the stage and to play drums in the grad song. He’s working for the summer picking orders at a  car parts distributor. The next milestone will be dropping him off at college in September.

Sunday we attended the 100th anniversary of Camp Wildwood, our local Christian camp (www.campwildwood.ca). I worked there one summer as a lifeguard and swimming instructor and so it was good to celebrate with them. 

The German student who has been living with us since January will leave for home tomorrow. He has been kind and helpful and we will miss him. We took him sightseeing at New Brunswick’s famous Hopewell Rocks (www.thehopewellrocks.ca) yesterday. While there we saw a nest of peregrine falcons being fed – what a neat experience that was.

That’s about all our news. Blessings

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Sunday was July 1, Canada Day, and we celebrated as many did by going downtown to watch fireworks. The show here in Moncton started kind of low and slow, but then the big ones came out – the ones which start with a “whump” and streak high into air to explode with the biggest booms. We were treated once again to showers of burning white, red, green, and blue.

The real crowd-pleaser here this year was a kind of twice-exploding firework. Just when it looked like the last embers had burned out, it exploded with a larger burst than the first. All of us “ooo-ed” and “aaah-ed” at those big double-bangers. What a surprise it was to see another when we thought it was finished.

I left impressed with this firework I hadn’t seen before, so I was a little surprised when I saw comments in the “Twitter-Face” world about how lame the show was. Really? I thought it was pretty cool, especially the twice-exploding ones. How did we see the same thing and think about it so differently?

It took me a while to see the irony in the situation. Earlier in the show, I had almost convinced myself that it wasn’t going to be good. “Low and slow,” I thought. “Is this what our tax dollars paid for?” But then something in me suggested 1) that it was too soon to judge the whole show, and that 2) fireworks were cool in and of themselves, so I should stop complaining.

The experience was a good reminder that perspective makes a difference. I came out on top of this one, but only after squabbling with myself. I had to decide I was going to enjoy the show, to choose a different way of thinking about it.

This is not so different from faith. Faith means we decide to believe that things will not always be the way they appear to be right now. This is a matter of perspective, that we choose to look at things from a different angle in our way of thinking. The writer of Hebrews puts it this way: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  (Heb 11:1)

Two people look at the same situation. The first person decides it is a lost cause. The person of faith looks at it differently and says, “It only looks lost. I know God has other things in store, so I choose to think differently.”

I hope this helps.  Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a bi-weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published July 3, 2012. Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #277 Empty is Not Void

OnFire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #277 Empty is Not Void


Hi Folks:

When I think of the word “empty” my first thought is of disappointment. An empty plate in the fridge means the boys ate the leftover meatballs. When the needle of the gas gauge sits on E, I’ll have to make another trip to the pumps. However, an empty bank account may prevent me from filling the empty tank. An empty cupboard, so the nursery rhyme goes, frustrated Old Mother Hubbard. Empty words are broken promises.

“Hollow” is a related word with the same letdowns. A hollow potato is rotten in the centre. We gain nothing in a hollow victory. To be hollow-hearted is to be insincere.

That was the feeling I had as a child when I discovered that my Easter candy was hollow. What kind of sick joke was that, to build up my milk-chocolate hopes, only to have them crack like the sides of bunny under my teeth?

Empty and hollow are not always disappointing. I love finding empty parking spots. PEI, where I grew up, is covered with pretty farms located in hollows between the hills. I have secret compartments in my desk, small hollow spots perfect for hiding trinkets.

Empty was good on Easter Sunday. When the women first spotted the empty tomb, they didn’t yet know what it meant. Had someone removed Jesus’ body without telling them? It took a little while to understand that the empty tomb was a good thing. “He is not here; he has risen,” and angel said.

Imagine their joy as Mary, and Mary, and Peter and John, and soon all the others began to realize the empty tomb meant Jesus was alive. The impossible was possible with God. Empty was where hope began.

Genesis tells us that before creation the earth was without form and void, another way of saying it was empty. God took that emptiness and turned it into something. He brought order form the chaos and turned nothing into something. That’s what the resurrection was. The empty tomb was not void.

We tend to see empty as the end. We had something and now it is gone. But with God, empty is the beginning. This is the place where God can fill us up once again. I wish there were an easier way, but it seems we often don’t discover how powerful God is until we’re sucking the fumes of our empty. In this way empty is where hope begins.

May God fill your empty on this Easter Monday morning. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a bi-weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Apr 9, 2012. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #276 Lessons from the Fish Tank

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #276 Lessons from the Fish tank

Hi Folks:

My latest post on Pastor of Everything Else is “What To do When the Senior Pastor Resigns.” So far, I’ve spent a total of almost three years of my nine years in associate ministry without a senior pastor at the helm. Feel free to pass this along to associate pastors you may know.
http://www.pastorofeverythingelse.blogspot.com/

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A few weeks ago I began to see signs that our koy and goldfish were distressed. Not the “I’m overwhelmed and I’m going to flip out” kind of emotional distress, but the lethargic, not eating, kind of distress which signals that the fish were weak and might not survive.

To explain, these are fish that I brought in from our backyard pond because last year’s fish didn’t survive the winter in the shallow water. A friend gave us a tank and all winter we’ve been keeping 3 koy and 4 goldfish. I couldn’t catch one goldfish, and so it remains somewhere in the pond, forever traumatized by my efforts to net him.

Anyway, one by one and two by two I lost all of the fish over the next couple of weeks. They died despite my best efforts to change the water and filter and clean the gravel. I felt really bad that I tried to save them from freezing, only to have them die in my fish tank later from problems I was ill-equipped to handle.

It was hard not to reflect on those fish and see my life. I sometimes wonder if I’m pouring time and energy into situations and problems which will only be a wasted effort. How depressing that thought is! And yet, it is one of my secret fears. Is all this trouble for nothing? I’m generally a positive, hopeful person. It’s something people like about me. But deep down, when things aren’t going so well, I have these fears.

I have to be careful because some people think I write OnFire like a diary or journal. They think I must be writing about church life or my current mood. This is not always so. I write OnFire because I think that if I talk about the secret feelings we’re afraid to say in public, then we’ll all be better off for it. If I feel this, then others do, too, and so let’s do this together. “I’m not the only one!” is what I hope people will think.

I was surprised when I had these thoughts, and I had to work through them. It really came down to this. As frustrating as things are sometimes, as difficult and discouraging as they may be, I cannot surrender to these fears. Even as these thoughts occur, I must reject them and choose instead to trust that God is good and He is not finished with me.

This is one of the thoughts I cling to. “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,” Paul wrote. (Phil 1:6)

I hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a bi-weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Mar 19, 2012. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #275 The Creepy Guy Emerges

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #275 The Creepy Guy Emerges

We have a concrete figurine in our backyard, one of those little fishing boy statues which sits by our goldfish pond. Not long after we moved in we affectionately named him, “The Creepy Guy in the Backyard” because all he does is hang around and stare blankly into space. By the way, we like the Creepy Guy, even though we gave him this name, and the boys have resisted our suggestions that we should give him a new coat of paint. They like the “character” he has right now and he would be “too pretty” if we freshened him up.

As I write, the Creepy Guy is melting from the snow bank. With a few warm days his hat and eyes have emerged. I like the way he seems to peer above the snow and I think of him as a symbol of the changing seasons. There is hope for warmer and longer days ahead.

In my last OnFire I wrote about the difference between real and perceived limits. I wrote it on what I call a “low motivation day.” I get these occasionally, not regularly, but once in a while, when I am tired and not feeling like I can push myself. I’ve learned over the years that they last about a day so I just plan to do simple tasks which don’t require a lot of brain power or emotional strain. And then the next day I go back to my normal pace.

That didn’t happen. My low motivation day turned into the better part of a week. I have to be honest, it was a little unnerving. I like to work hard and to push myself. And yet I couldn’t seem to muster my full amount of energy. I put myself on “light duty.” The reality was I couldn’t do much more, anyway.

I’m still not sure what happened, other than I was probably exhausted, spiritually, mentally and physically. The next week was better, last week better again. I wouldn’t say I’m back up to 100%, but then again I’m not sure I want to go back to running at 100%. I recently told one of our church leaders that there are seasons when we go flat out, when it is necessary, and it even feels good to put it all out there. But, I said, we can’t do that all the time. (Someday we’ll all be better at taking our own advice.)

Somebody is going to read this and be worried about my health and my mental or spiritual state. A lot of my relatives are on the OnFire list, including my mother. I’m OK. Really.

Here’s the thing, the reason why I’m writing all this. I figure that if I go through something, other people are going through the same thing, too. And that by sharing my experiences it helps and encourages other people. We’re not alone in this journey.

It’s OK if we’ve been running at 100% and we get tired and need to back off. Really. There really are limits. And it is OK to tell someone we’re tired. We often do much better at telling other people they can take their breaks. Somehow we think we’re unique and so we don’t need it for ourselves.

I think there are lots of reasons why we feel others can and should take breaks, but we can’t. 1) Something won’t get done. Well, sometimes things need to go undone before someone else will step up. 2) We need to prove we can handle it, that we’re tough enough for the job. But, who are we trying to prove it to? 3) Out of a sense of duty. This is my poison, and it’s a tough one because I’m often motivated by the feeling, “It’s the right thing to do.” I’m not sure I have the answer to this one, other than to say, sometimes I just can’t go any further, and that’s OK.

I’m guessing someone in OnFire Land needs to hear this today. I can’t be the only one riding this train. Be encouraged. It’s OK to admit we’re tired and that we’ve reached our limits. Furthermore, it’s even OK to say No.

The Creepy Guy is melting out of the snow bank. We’ll emerge from being buried, too.

I hope this helps. Be OnFire. Oh, and don’t take the “Creepy Guy” metaphor too far. I’m not suggesting that you or I are “creepy.”

Troy

OnFire is a bi-weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Mar 5, 2012. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #274 Living between the Red Lines

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #274 Living between the Red Lines

Last weekend the saga of the snowblower came to an end. After restarting the motor to finish the driveway, it revved way too fast and then there was a loud “pop.” The pushrod, broken and no longer bound to the crankshaft, smashed the thin walls of the engine. Judging from the pieces sprayed across my driveway, the motor will never start again.

I really enjoyed that little snowblower. I learned a lot about tuning the engine and I took a certain amount of pride in keeping it going. It was a nice mental break from what I normally do.

There are times I feel like that little machine, times when I wonder if life will rev to the point when something comes apart. I can’t be the only one who sometimes wonders how much more can be piled on and added before things suddenly go pop. That’s not a comfortable thought. Life doesn’t come with a red line to tell us where our limits are.

Now here’s a funny thought. I was at the gym the other day. Exhausted. Not really feeling like I wanted to be there, but knowing it was important to get some exercise, I hopped on the first machine to get some cardio. I wasn’t expecting good results. Just finish the workout, I thought, and go home for nap. A few minutes in, I felt my body respond to the challenge and the numbers on the electronic screen said I was working as hard as I normally do. I finished the weights and machines at full form. It made me wonder if it was mind over matter, that I was capable of more than I felt I was.

Some limits are real and some are imagined. If I go into the danger zone of the cardio monitor, I need to back off because my heart is at risk. Other times I need to push through because my limit is actually beyond where I think it is.

Reality is probably between these two lines, between where we think the limits are and where things go pop. It takes faith to work beyond our imagined limits, and discernment to know the real ones.

Paul knew something about living close to the limits, for real. “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope.” ( 2 Corinthians 1:9-10)

Discovering new limits means finding new trust in God. First, we have to hang in there to trust him more. And second, we discover new ways in which God is faithful. In both these ways we find new trust in God. Only when we run out of our strength do we discover God’s, and its a good thing, for at that point we don’t have what it takes. Paul writes, “On him we have set our hope.”

Hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a bi-weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Feb 15, 2012. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #266 Sway Bars for Christians

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #266 Sway Bars for Christians

An important part of a car’s suspension system is the sway bar. This device is designed to limit the amount of side to side roll - called sway - during turns. It doesn’t look like much, usually a long piece of round steel formed into a kind of U shape, but its job is important because it improves handling and comfort. Those of us who live in New Brunswick can be proud. Wikipedia tells us that a man from Fredericton was the first to patent the bar in 1919.

We humans could use an anti-sway device. When things are smooth and straight the decisions of life are easy, but when we experience twists and turns we begin to sway. We know what we ought to do, but the complications of life make it hard to believe that we can do it.

This is the nature of doubt. We go back and forth in our minds. We get caught between two opposing ideas and don’t know which one we can trust. Often, we know what is true, but we can’t make up our minds what to do about it.

“I know, but...” is the mantra of doubt. We could fill in the blanks for lots of things. I know yoghurt has less calories and saturated fat, but ice cream is what I really want. I know I should read more, but.... I know I need to lose weight, but....

Let’s bring this around to the topic of faith. “I know I should trust God more, but...”

The books of Matthew, Mark, and John include the account of Jesus walking on the water, but only Matthew tells us that Peter also walked on water that night. In Matthew 14:22-32 we learn that the disciples were rowing across the lake on a windy night when Jesus walked on the water to meet them. The disciples thought he was a ghost and were afraid, but Peter suggested a test. If it was Jesus, he should command Peter to walk across the water also.

Peter did walk on the water, but v.30 says he began to sink when he became afraid of the wind. Jesus saved him from drowning, and then asked him, “You of little faith, why do you doubt?”

It wasn’t that Peter had no faith. As crazy as it seems, he climbed down out of the boat onto the water and started walking. He had enough faith to start, but then the wind and waves scared him. The problem was that he began to sway, to waiver in his conviction and commitment even though he was doing it.

Sometimes we set out in a direction for the Lord, and we’re doing it, perhaps even experiencing some success. But then we become afraid, and we second guess whether it’s the right thing to do. I’m reminded of Paul’s words in Galatians 5:7 “You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?” It is natural to experience doubt, but we do not have to give in. Rather, faith and faithfulness (the two cannot be separated) mean that we will trust God to continue despite our doubts.

We don’t talk much about doubt. Maybe we hope it will just go away. Maybe it’s our way to avoid those whom we fear will rebuke and shame us for such thoughts. I love the words, however, of Jude 1:22 “Be merciful to those who doubt.” Sometimes we need the comfort of someone who comes alongside to say, “You can do this. In fact, you ARE doing this, just keep going.” And sometimes we need to say the words to someone else. In this way little faith becomes bigger faith.

I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy

OnFire is a bi-weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Oct 13, 2011. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at http://www.onfireletter.com/ . Blog located at http://www.onfireletter.blogspot.com/.

OnFire #265 Little Faith: Fear

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #265 Little Faith: Fear

We continue to look at the things which trip up our faith. 6 times Jesus rebuked lack of faith. Last time we looked at worry, and this time we look at it’s relative, fear.

A few years ago I went rapelling. I felt like I would shake apart as I backed over the edge of a 70-foot cliff. Even though I was afraid, the most amazing thing happened about half-way down. I realized I was doing it, and it felt great. I paused my descent, look around, looked up and down, and was truly surprised. I did not expect that terrifying experience of hanging so high above the ground to be so wonderful. I discovered I could trust the rope, trust the people holding the safety lines, trust my own ability to hold on. When I finished I ran back up the path to get in line again.

In Matthew 8 we find the disciples in the boat with Jesus, travelling from the area of Capernaum to the other side of the lake. A violent storm arose and when the waves started to fill the boat, the disciples (among whom were a number of seasoned fishermen) woke Jesus. "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

Jesus responded immediately, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” (8:26)

In this exchange we discover that fear may affect our faith and hold us back from trusting God.

I don’t believe the issue was fear itself. This is a natural reaction. The issue was the impulse to think, “I shouldn’t have come in the first place.” Or perhaps, “Is this why God brought me here, only to abandon me at the worst time?”

The insight for this comes from the verses leading up to this episode. In verse 18 Jesus gave the order to get into the boat and cross the lake. Jesus was ready, evidently feeling that it was necessary to leave right away. One man offered himself, claiming he would follow Jesus wherever he went, but Jesus answered in a way which leads us to think the man was secretly afraid of the lack of security and comfort Jesus could offer: “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (8:20)

Another man was willing to follow Jesus, but wanted to wait until he had the chance to bury his father (8:21). There was nothing wrong with wanting to fulfill this family duty, but timing was the issue. Jesus was leaving and so he had to make a choice. When it came right down to it, would he follow Jesus, or was he more afraid of how his family might react if he did?

The disciples followed when others had not (8:23). This was a good thing, but when the storm hit and the waves beat the boat, they really were not much different from those they left on shore. They gave the impression of faithfulness, but fears battered their resolve. “It would have been better if we had stayed with those on shore...” I think that’s what they were thinking when they cried out, “Save us, we’re going to drown!”

Fear is what we feel when we no longer feel safe, when we worry, when we move past our level of comfort, when we exceed our experience, or when present circumstances remind us of past trouble. It is a natural emotion and we all feel it.

The difference between fear and faith is this. Fear says, “I can’t go forward,” or “I wish I could go back.” Faith says, “I am afraid, but I will move ahead anyway because I trust God to bring me through.”

This is not about conquering our fears. It is not by our mighty strength that we do this. Sure, motivational speakers pump us up to make us realize that we were stronger than we thought. But even they have fears they cannot conquer. No one is fearless, but that’s not the point..

Faith is about being afraid, but moving ahead anyway because we trust that God is in it. Faith is about believing that it is better move ahead, even in fear, than to stay where we are or to go back. In this way faith is related to courage, but it is a courage grounded in the belief that God is good and that God goes with us.

I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy

OnFire is a bi-weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 28, 2011. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at http://www.onfireletter.blogspot.com/.

Onfire #264 Little Faith Big Faith: Worry

OnFire Encouragement Letter

Onfire #264 Little Faith Big Faith: Worry

I read lately that worry is a negative emotion. Really? Is there someone who thinks that worry is a positive emotion? Would anyone mistake it for something good? Look at all the synonyms: anxiety, nervousness, concern, disquiet, anguish, apprehension, fear, torment, uncertainty, and the list goes on. I don’t think people lie awake at night because they have so much joy in their hearts.

Worry is the first of the “little faith” topics. Jesus spoke about worry in the sermon on the mount. “O, you of little faith,” he said. Why worry about what we will eat or wear since God feeds the birds and dresses the flowers? Aren’t we are more important to Him than these? I’m summarizing, so be sure to read the whole passage in Matthew 6:24-34.

It would be interesting to know how much worry costs us. We take expensive trips to “get away from it all.” We treat ourselves to take our minds off our problems. We fill our lives with activity and distraction hoping our problems will just go away. We haven’t even talked about the more destructive things we might do to try to forget our problems for a time. Nor have we talked about the cost of illnesses brought on by worry. Ironically, it all comes with a price tag, and then we worry about that, too.

Speaking of irony, sometimes we worry because we have nothing to worry about. How many times have we wondered how long it would be before something bad happens again!!

The solution to the problem of worry comes from the context of the passage. In v. 24 we read, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” The first mistake we often make in understanding the passage is to separate this verse from what follows. Often we insert a stop here and read the next section as a different topic. Money, then worry. But we cannot separate the two because Jesus connects them in v. 25: “Therefore...”

The second mistake we make is thinking that love of money is the source of the problem. We get this from Jesus’ statement, “You cannot serve both God and money,” but this is not where Jesus started: “No one can serve two masters.”

Worry is about divided loyalties. We say we follow Jesus, but actually we’ve allowed another master to step in front. That other master may be money, but it could also be pride, our ability to think, plan, to improve ourselves, or even the desire to escape. In order to discover the other master we are trying to serve, we might ask ourselves, “My life would be better if only...”

How do we get back on the right track, to serve God wholeheartedly, and with great faith? “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (V.33) Jesus tells us that we can leave worry behind by choosing to focus our thoughts and attention on God and serving Him. We can choose not to worry. This is not like the old song, “Don’t worry, be happy.” This is the choice to focus on something better than worry, on making God’s thoughts our thoughts. When we do this, worry goes away, and God makes sure we have the things we really need.

I’m not going to pretend to have this one mastered. I have to admit that I’m a little uncomfortable writing because I feel the sting of rebuke. I find myself worrying about things all the time, maybe not about what I will eat or wear, but certainly about finances, problems and situations, and all sorts of “what ifs.”

For all of us it all comes down to trust. Do we trust God to provide what we need, when we need it? Worry is the clue that we’re trusting in something we think we can provide. Jesus reminds us that our way doesn’t work. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (V.27) Jesus calls us to trust in God’s ability to provide.

I hope this helps. Be on fire.
Troy

OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 12, 2011. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at http://www.onfireletter.blogspot.com/.

OnFire #262 Father's Day Talk

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #262 Father’s Day Talk


OnFire is different this week. I have adapted a talk I gave to the men of our church on Sunday.
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A Few Years Ago...
You will recall that I have two boys, now 17 and 15. Five or six years ago, when the oldest was 10 or 11, I began to feel some unease about raising them. It felt like I was leaving the side of one map but I didn’t have the next map. I was moving into new territory and I wasn’t sure the kinds of things we would face. More to the point, I wasn’t confident about my own ability to lead and parent them.

I tie this feeling to my parents’ s divorce when I was about that age. In these really formative years I didn’t have an active role model in the home about how to be a dad. Thankfully this sense of unease faded and I learned some important things about God and being a father. Understand, this was not a grand revelation, but came as the result of a process over many months. I hope this will help other dads and encourage the rest of men, whether grandparents, uncles, teachers, youth group leaders, friends and neighbours. We can help each other in this important task of raising children.

The Fatherhood of God
During this time I developed a new sense of the Fatherhood of God. John 1:12 began to have more meaning to me:

John 1:12 - Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God*

I realized once again that I have a perfect Father in Heaven and this eased my worries. Other passages lifted off the page and taught me both about the fatherhood of God and about what being a good father is all about.

Luke 11:11-13
Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!

2 Corinthians 1:3ff.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,...

Ephesians 1:17
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.

These passages and others were comforting, encouraging, and they taught me about what it means to be a good father.

I Found People Who Were Good Examples
I’ve always been a conscientious parent, but it became even more important to me to find people who were good, strong, positive role models. Thankfully I didn’t have to look far. My grandfather and uncle were especially important. After my parents’ separation I spent a lot of weekends and summers with them and they were good examples of men who lived out faith in Jesus Christ. I had these memories to fall back on, and in addition there were friends and other men in our churches I could look to. They provided examples of godliness, character and diligence which helped a lot.

I Paid Attention to What Works
When I find a good example, especially of someone whose children actively live out their faith in Jesus, I pay special attention to the parenting style, attitudes, actions, home life, discipline and correction, and anything else I can get insight into. Likewise, I also pay attention to what doesn’t work. Generally speaking, several things were affirmed to me.

Our faith has to be genuine. Where I saw sincere faith in parents, children were tons more likely to be engaged in faith.

We can’t live a double life. Where I see an attitude of “do as I say and not as I do,” the children tend to disappear from church life at a young age. At about the same time, I was talking to lots of men who grew up in homes where this happened, and they were deeply cynical about religion of any kind. I became very aware that my children were paying attention to what I taught at church, and if I was not the same person at home as I was on the platform, it was a sure recipe for parental disaster.

Character Counts
I am amazed to hear my boys express opinions which sound a lot like me, even when I don’t remember talking about that topic. They are so impressionable. I was reminded during that time that I need continually to work on my own character because my actions, attitudes and words come from deep within me. Character counts and I was reminded to model godly Christian character for my boys.

Apologize and Make Things Right
I became very aware of the times I blew it. Our children see us at our best, and our worst, and they know when we’ve blown it, so there is no sense denying it or covering our tracks. I broke something belonging to Ian out of anger one night. Ironically, it was a stop sign he had made. What a horrible feeling. I apologized after, and we made a new sign together which still hangs on his door.

I learned something about God’s grace during this time. In His grace, we have a chance to redeem a situation by saying “I’m sorry.” Not that it makes it right - of course not. But we have a chance to model how to handle things when we get it wrong. We show by our example how to apologize and make things right. Thank God for redemption.

Time is Love
At about that time, I realized how busy I was, and would probably always be. And, I also noticed how different from each other my two boys were. I needed a way to get them on their own regularly so that I could pay proper attention to them individually.

At that time I started a weekly appointment with them where I take each one out for breakfast on alternating weeks. This is non-negotiable and the only time we don’t go for breakfast is when I’m out of town. On the rare occasion I need to attend a meeting at that time, I reschedule breakfast for another morning that week. I wanted them to know that for those 30 or 45 minutes, they have my undivided attention.

Its interesting - neither boy talks about these times, but both could tell you whose turn it is. These times have become very important for us.

Not Done Yet
I shared these things on Father’s Day, not because I thought I was the model, but because I hoped it would help. Our boys have a long way to go yet, and so this is stil a work in progress. However, if I felt that kind of unease and fear about parenting my children, then others probably do and maybe something that helped me might help others. I also wanted other men to know that they have an important role, even if they do not have children at home. Just as I found encouragement and wisdom by following the example of those around me, they could be an encouragement and example to the rest of the men and to the children in their lives.

I hope this help. Be on fire.
Troy

OnFire is a weekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published June 21, 2011. *Scripture taken from the New International Version. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at http://www.onfireletter.blogspot.com/.