OnFire #312 More Stressful than I Thought

OnFire Encouragement Letter

OnFire #312 More Stressful than I Thought

I wrote a couple weeks ago about our kitchen renovation. It is almost finished. The flooring guy comes Friday, and the parts to install our dishwasher should come any day, so we are almost finished. From start to finish, we have moved a heating pipe into a wall, upgraded our kitchen electrical circuits and moved the stove plug, repaired wall board, fixed damaged ceiling, primed and painted, and installed cabinets, counter, and over-stove microwave.

Our place is slowly getting back to normal. For a while I couldn’t tell if we were living through a renovation, or an episode of “Hoarders.” We had stuff everywhere.

We had help from a friend. It was great that Dan could come and we had a great visit as well.

Something I don’t understand after the whole experience. This was way more stressful than I thought it would be. I don’t even know why it was so stressful. It went along relatively smoothly with few surprises, good help,  etc.  But it was.

I know some of the factors. We only had our friend’s help for just so long. Little things held us up at times, like moving outlets, and that was frustrating.  Our space and routines were disturbed. We could hardly move around the house without stepping over, around, or on something. The tension of making decisions, which I knew would delay the project, but had to be done anyway. On and on.  I suppose if you’ve been through this before, there is no surprise here.  I’ve worked on other people’s renovations before, but this was my own, and it was different. Much more stressful than I thought it would be.

Well, it’s almost over, and most things are put away. Looking back, I see some actions and attitudes which helped, and some others which probably added to the stress. Let me share these things with you, as I think you’ll agree there are broader lessons for the rest of life.

This won’t last forever.

As these things go, it was a short reno;  they can last weeks and months, so I don’t want to whine too much. Even still, I found this thought a source of comfort.  Indeed, most situations don’t last forever. It won’t always be this way is another way to express this thought.

Getting snippy doesn’t help.

Apparently I get more directive under stress, and I forget my please and thank you’s. That’s the kinder version of  what Jan told me, at least. Backing off, waiting to answer, exercising patience – all these things help make stressful situations go a lot better. Its one thing to have stress, but I don’t need to be a carrier.

Pray for God’s peace.

Ironically, on the Sunday before most of the work, I preached from Philippians 4:6 -7 on God’s peace:  

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”*

I found myself reminded about my own words many times during the week, and prayed about my own stress (anxiety).  I would have been much worse without prayer.

Its probably not as big as you think.

Every reno brings problems, issues and decisions, and ours was no exception.  Taken together, they seemed huge. But  one by one, and with a little time to think about them, they were more manageable and less intimidating.  Most problems appear larger than they really are.

It’s time to call in some help.

We originally planned to put down the vinyl floor on our own. I have done some basic floors, and I thought between me and Dan we could figure it out. But when Dan wasn’t so sure, I took another look, and realized it was beyond our abilities.  That’s when we decided we needed an expert.  This was a good decision. There are times when we would do better to admit we don’t know.

There is no going back.

A few times I found myself thinking, “Maybe we could have salvaged the old cabinets.”  That wasn’t realistic. Plus, once we started the demolition, it was impossible to restore the kitchen. The only way to finish successfully was to keep going on. In the mess of things, it is easy to glorify the past, as if going back was an option. God’s best for us is in the future, not behind us.

It will be worth it in the end.

There was no way to install a new kitchen without creating a mess. But it was worth it, and thankfully we understood this from the beginning. It helped. By keeping the goal in mind, it was easier to press on.

These are some thoughts that helped us over the past few weeks. There are certainly more pressing issues in life than our temporary renovation, but perhaps you’ll agree that there are parallels to some of life’s other troubles.

Blessings, and hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Mar 13, 2014. Troy is the Pastor of Next Generations and Connections at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. *New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com

OnFire #290 The Battlefield of the Mind

OnFire Encourage Letter

OnFire #290 The Battlefield of the Mind

This past week we honoured our veterans on Remembrance Day and this year, as in past years, I played Last Post and Reveille at a service. When Remembrance Day falls on Sunday, I normally play in our own church, but this year we arranged to make a video of me playing so I could play live at a seniors complex. It is always an honour to play for those who have put their lives on the line so that others might enjoy freedom.

While those people faced battles of a more literal variety, these past few weeks I have faced a number of battles of the mind. While they were not as momentous as those faced by our veterans, they were, nonetheless, troubling to me.

I had some vacation and was really hoping to spend at least a few days hunting, but a number of appointments and other things kept me in town until Thursday that week. I was so frustrated to be stuck at home. This was going to be the year, finally, when I could take my time and pay attention to the hunt. My thoughts are often so divided that I looked forward to being a little more single-minded. But then there were all these appointments and other things. Grumble, grumble....

On Saturday of that week, Jan was away and Mark and I were getting ready to visit Ian overnight in Fredericton at his college. As I was getting things together, I heard water running in the kitchen and found one of the cupboards flooded. The sewer drain in the bathroom had broken. To find and fix the problem we had to cut out part of a cabinet and make a big hole in the ceiling. We did get to visit Ian that night, but I spent Monday last week cutting and fixing old sewer pipe, and then cleaning and disinfecting everything. What a mess.

These were two of the big frustrations. I won’t go into some of the other ones; these two illustrate some of the kinds of problems we all face from time to time. Often we roll with many of them, but once in a while they mount up.

This is the battlefield of the mind. How will we react? What will we think? How will we treat the people around us? I found it a constant struggle that week to deal with all of the conflicting thoughts and emotions. Early in the week I was angry to be stuck in town. At the same time, I didn’t want to be miserable to live with. “How do I make the most of this, for everyone?” was the question which came to mind. I went back and forth on this all week and constantly had to remind myself. I won’t promise I was perfect, but I have to think I was a lot better than I would have been.

Later in the week I was discouraged over the plumbing issue. How much would this cost? How long would it take to clean up. But then as I was cutting holes in my ceiling to track the leak, it occurred to me that it was a lot better to do this now than in a year’s time. We hope to renovate our kitchen this year. Thank you, Lord, that we found the problem now and not later.

In the end things worked out very well. I caught up on some neglected things around the house. I had a successful hunt. We still got to visit Ian. A man from our church is a plumber and showed me how to do the work on the drain, even bringing a “goodie bag” of assorted parts. I was able to fix it myself for the cost of parts and now we know things are solid for the renovation.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”* This is the battlefield of the mind, to put aside our first and strongest selfish reactions to allow God to do something better.

I hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. This letter published Nov 14, 2012. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. *Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at www.onfireletter.com . Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.

OnFire #286 Peeling Back Old Shingles

Onfire Encouragement Letter
OnFire #286 Peeling Back Old Shingles

For the last week I’ve been using any spare time I have to replace the shingles on our carport. They were long since past their best-before date, curled and brittle. A few years ago we replaced the shingles on our roof, but we put off doing the carport to save money. We couldn’t put it off any longer as wind damaged shingles last year, and the condition of the rest of them told us it was not wise or prudent to delay. 

So, like I mentioned, I’ve been working away on this over the past week. It isn’t a large area, isn’t very high off the ground, and isn’t steep. Our son Mark and a man from our church helped on Saturday. Monday I finished 14 rows and now there are only a few rows left.

I had a little surprise when I peeled back the shingles nearest the house and found some rotten wood, signaling that water was a problem in that area. I think I understand how it got in. This is important as I want to avoid costly issues in the future. Thankfully the damage wasn’t structural, and it confirmed for me that it was a good idea to change the way it had been done compared to last time. This way should make it a lot harder for water to leak under the shingles.

Tearing off  those shingles reminds me of the process of transformation we have as believers. We find this process of change in verses like these:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

We are, or ought to be, in a continual process of peeling back old ways and replacing them with new ones, of getting rid of negative and harmful character traits and replacing them with new traits of godliness.

It sounds simple enough. After all, it is easy to point out the weaknesses of others, but they are harder to see for ourselves. We are often blind to our own faults and weaknesses until something happens to show us up, and then we stand uncomfortably exposed.

The better approach is continually to ask God to reveal the changes we need to make in our behaviour, our actions, thoughts and attitudes. As we come to understand these things, we can make the changes we need to be transformed.

I hope this helps. Be on fire.

Troy

OnFire is a biweekly letter on faith and character written by Troy Dennis. Troy is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Highfield Baptist Church, Moncton NB Canada. This letter published Sept 19, 2012. Scripture taken from New International Version, 1984. To subscribe or reply, email onfireletter@gmail.com. Archives are located at  www.onfireletter.com. Blog located at www.onfireletter.blogspot.com.